


Dangan Roosters 2: Goodbye Sanity

by Ciccoslovakia, orphan_account



Series: Dangan Roosters: A Comedy of Hope and Despair [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst and Humor, Character Death, Gen, Puppet Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3811501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciccoslovakia/pseuds/Ciccoslovakia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>If you can hear me then I guess I’ll just give a personal introduction before I tell you what I know. I’m Matt Bragg. I know you know that but not everybody listening will. I used to play video games for a living. I mean I had the job of a lifetime. Then everything went to shit. I mean I wouldn’t even be in this mess if it didn’t. But you’re not here to listen to me complain. You’re here for the story of how we, the employees of Rooster Teeth, lost our minds to despair.</em> </p><p>Or. The Mutual Killing Game gets a special encore performance</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue Part 1: Road to Ruin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter didn't get posted when this fic and this AU was still a thing. Co-author and I don't speak anymore cause shit happen which everyone knows about. But yeah. Now the stories not going to be as incomplete anymore.

The door to a dark room swung open. Standing in the doorway were two men. One man was dressed casually, just wearing a plain tee-shirt and jeans. The other man was wearing a similar plain tee-shirt with jeans. The second man more noticeably was wearing a black and white mask that resembled a cat. The mask covered the man’s entire head and was covered in dried blood.

“Ah, home sweet home.” The unmasked man said as he entered the room. The masked man said nothing. “Right I forget sometimes that you don’t talk. It’s probably for the best.”

The masked man continued to stand in the doorway. “You can come in you know. And turn on the lights while you’re at it, I can’t see shit in the dark.” The unmasked man said. The masked man entered the room and flipped on the light switch. The room was plain white with a few empty desks scattered about the room. A few of the desks had computers at them.

“I honestly was expecting something fancier. I thought the people at RT had better interior decorating skills than this.” The unmasked remarked as he looked around the room. The masked man nodded in agreement. “I didn’t even know you could form opinions at this point. See, we learn something every day.” The unmasked man said as he patted the masked man on the shoulder.

“But what I’d really like to know is why we had to wait so long to start this.” The masked man just stood there. “I mean how long has it been since the game was played? Like a year? Thirteen months?” the unmasked man merely grunted. “Holy shit I didn’t even know you could make noise. Either way, I don’t think we should have waited this long. I mean with Marquis doing his thing and us putting on an encore performance, we could have given the Future Foundation a run for their money.”

The red eye on the black side of the masked man’s mask glowed at the mention of the Future Foundation. “I know, I hate them too.” The unmasked man walked over towards one of the desks. “We’ll get them. This isn’t how I’d go about it personally. I like the idea of a direct attack. But of course I can’t do it my way. That would be ‘going against orders’.” The unmasked man said in a mocking voice.

The masked man nodded in agreement once more. “I mean, I could theoretically do what I want. I’ve been taking orders from a bitch who’s been dead for a while.” The unmasked man shrugged. “Then again an encore could be fun. The first one was filled with so much despair. The ending was cheap though.”

The masked stared blankly. “Oh right. You didn’t really watch it. You were busy blindly doing what I say.” The unmasked man laughed. “By the way, death and despair really is a good look on you.”

The masked man grunted once more. “I’ll take that as a thank you. It’s been a while so I’ll spoil the ending. Too many people left with hope. God what is the point of that anymore. The whole world’s gone to shit anyway. Not that it wasn’t before.” The unmasked man paused. “Despair is a better look on this world. What’s the point of hope if it always leads to disappointment? Despair is much better. You know what you’re getting into.”

The masked man sat down on the floor. “Joining the dirt on the ground where we belong I see.” The masked man nodded. “That’s good and all. That’s what I like about all this. We know our place. We know how horrible everything is. Burnie and Matt were too naïve. That’s why they didn’t last. We’ll last because we are enlightened to despair. Whether we want to be or not.” The unmasked man smiled.

“And Barbara. She died so we will continue.” The masked man sat motionless on the floor.

“You’re dead inside.” The unmasked man remarked. “You are a hollow shell of what you used to be.” He sighed. “I know how you feel. But it’s ok. We’ll be wreaking havoc on those who try and obtain hope soon. I want them to know just how stupid and naïve they are just as much as you do.”

The eye on the mask began to glow again. “Those who chase hope deserve punishment. I guess we are going to kill two birds with one stone. This is going to make one hell of a statement.”

The masked man stood up again. “You know, in the amount of time I’ve been your handler, you’ve never been this expressive. I don’t really know how I feel about it.” The masked man did nothing. “Actually more expression will be good.” The unmasked man said.

He finally pulled a chair out from underneath the desk he was closest to and sat down. He cracked his knuckles and said, “Alright, enough talking to myself. Let’s get to work, shall we?”


	2. Prologue: Starting From the Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, If you want to listen to the music, open it up in another tab, otherwise feel free to ignore it.

_If you can hear me then I guess I’ll just give a personal introduction before I tell you what I know. I’m Matt Bragg. I know you know that but not everybody listening will. I used to play video games for a living. I mean I had the job of a lifetime. Then everything went to shit. I mean I wouldn’t even be in this mess if it didn’t. But you’re not here to listen to me complain. You’re here for the story of how we, the employees of Rooster Teeth, lost our minds to despair._

_It all started when Burnie and Matt announced a sudden move to a new office. The office was in a secluded location just outside of Austin. I didn’t really think much of its location at the time because I trusted everyone’s judgement. Maybe they needed more space for filming stuff? It wasn’t really any of my business why. But it was my first move with the company so I was really excited. So when I got there on the first day of work, I wasn’t expecting to feel really dizzy and pass out right in front of the new gate._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Matt…” A voice called out.

“Ugh… five more minutes…” Matt said groggily.

“Dude… you’re the last one to wake up.” Matt reluctantly raised his head off of the table. Jeremy and Kdin were sitting next to him.

“What the fuck…?” Matt said. “Where are we?”

“We’re in the kitchen at the new office,” Kdin answered. “Or at least I think it is. We all just kind of woke up in here.”

“Yeah this is definitely a kitchen,” Adam Ellis said from the other side of the room

“How did we all end up here?” Jon asked. He was sitting on a counter away from most of the tables.

“This is the first sign!” Joel, who was sitting next to Adam, yelled.

“Shut the fuck up,” Adam replied.

[Suddenly, out of nowhere, a puff of smoke a flash of light appeared.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT_AoT9ni5M) When the smoke and light faded, a small dog was standing on the counter next to Jon. The dog was black and white, its eyes black and blue. The dog sat there and smiled, wagging its tail

“What that fuck?!” Jon shouted.

“How did a dog get in here?” Jeremy asked, as if anyone had an answer.

“OH MY GOSH YOU ARE ADORABLE!” Arryn shrieked with joy from the back corner of the kitchen.

The dog bowed its head. “My name is Watson the Wonder Dog! I’m the new head of human resources here at Rooster Teeth!” the dog exclaimed.

“Holy shit it talks!” Kdin yelled.

“How can you be in charge of human resources of you aren’t even human?” Matt asked.

“Don’t ask questions like that. It’s rude,” Watson replied.

“Sorry…”

“You are apologizing to a talking dog,” Jeremey pointed out.

“DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE!” Arryn exclaimed and she got up to pet Watson.

“Anyway. I would like to get to know all of you. So could you all introduce yourselves?” Watson asked politely.

“But we already know each other. Where are Burnie or Matt? Hullum. Matt Hullum.” Joel asked.

“They aren’t here. And I don’t know all of you. Let’s make this a game!” Watson exclaimed. “Each of you have a brand new ID card in your pockets. Why don’t you all take them out and read out your names and your fun new titles!”

Matt reached into his back pocket and sure enough, there was an ID card in there.

“How did you get these cards in our pockets while we were sleeping? How did you manage to knock us all out?” Adam asked.

“Stop asking weird stuff like that. Actually, why don’t we go around the room? You can start Adam!” Watson said cheerfully.

“How do you… but…” Adam sighed. “Adam Ellis. ‘Ultimate Beard.’” 

“Good!”

“I’m next? Uh… Joel Heyman. ‘Ultimate Actor.’” Joel said.

“I’m surprised it wasn’t ‘Ultimate Dumbass,’” Adam remarked.

“Don’t be a bitch.” 

“Anyway,” Arryn interrupted, “Hi. I’m Arryn Zech, and it says here that I am the ‘Ultimate Voice Actress.’ I really like that one.” She said with a smile. Then she turned to the man leaning on the wall closest to her. “You’re up Kyle!”

“Ok, well, clearly I’m Kyle Taylor. Because Arryn already said that. And according to this, I am the ‘Ultimate Sponsor Cut’, which I guess make sense since that’s what I do a lot of,” he said with a shrug.

“Ok, and I’m Patrick Rodriguez.” Patrick said as he waved at the room.

“Hi Patrick,” Everyone responded simultaneously.

“And I’m the ‘Ultimate Artist.’” He finished

“Hey that’s not fair!” Jon yelled. “There are other artists in the room.”

“Well what is your title?” Patrick asked.

Jon pulled out is his and looked at it. “Oh. It says I’m the ‘Ultimate Graphic Designer’.”

“See? I’m not a better artist. It’s just a different category.”

“At least you didn’t get something insulting like, ‘Ultimate Shitty Animator.’” Jordan said from across the room.

“But Jordan, you ARE a shitty animator. That why you have a job.” Jon said.

“Oh yeah.” Jordan said.

“Ok, I want to go next,” Meg called out from one of the tables. “I’m Meg Turney. My title is “Ultimate Show Host!’”

“And I’m Ashley Jenkins. I’m the ‘Ultimate In The Know’. You know, Meg, I think our titles could have been interchangeable,” Ashley remarked with a grin.

“Yeah I know, but before I joined ‘The Know’, I was a host on ‘Sourcefed’ but before you started, you were a professional gamer.” 

“I guess that makes sense,” Ashley replied.

“Ok, so now to get back on track, I’m Gray Haddock. You all know what I do here. But I guess my job description is now simplified to, ‘Ultimate Producer.’”

“It makes it easier to remember all the things you contribute to this awesome and loving company!” Watson cheered. Gray rolled his eyes.

“Ok, on to the live action department. I’m Blaine Gibson and I’m the ‘Ultimate Star Wars Fan’.” Blaine said happily.

Brandon looked at his ID with disgust. “What the hell man?! ‘Brandon Farmingweenies, Ultimate Weenie Farmer’ I thought that joke was dead!?” Brandon said.

“Apparently not. At least yours makes more sense.” Josh said. “Actually never mind I just thought about mine.”

“Well, are you going to share it with the rest of the group?” Watson asked.

Josh sighed, “Josh Flanagan, ‘Ultimate Sex Icon’.” 

“Yeah, that definitely makes sense,” Blaine added. 

“What about the Achievement Hunter B-Team?” Jon asked. The whole room turned to face the three remaining Achievement Hunters.

“Oh shit,” Matt said. “Uh, mine says I’m the ‘Ultimate Minecraft Builder” 

Kdin looked at his ID, “I’m the ‘Ultimate Dragon’. Sup.”

“You are such a nerd.”

“I’m not going to even try and deny that.”

“And finishing this off, I’m Jeremy Dooley, ‘Ultimate Rapper’. I am beyond relieved that that is my title” Jeremy said with a sigh of relief.

“YAY NOW WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER!” Watson exclaimed happily.

“YAY!” Arryn squealed in agreement.

“But we already knew each other.” Patrick said.

“It doesn’t matter! Now it’s time to start a new day of friendship and-” 

[Suddenly the lights in the room flickered off.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T048Hz17DbY)

There was a beat of stunned silence before everybody in the room started to scream in panic.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” Blaine yelled.

“THIS IS ONE OF THE SIGNS!” Joel screamed.

“JOEL SHUT UP!” Adam yelled back.

“Don’t panic everybody! I’m sure the lights will be back on in a moment!” Watson exclaimed.

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu! MEOW MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU MU!” An obnoxiously squeaky laugh came out of nowhere.

“Oh fuck!” Jon yelled.

“What the hell is that?!” Meg said.

Then the lights flickered back on and then there was a sinister looking cat standing next to Watson. The cat was black on one half of its body and white on the other. Instead of one black eye and one blue eye, the eye on the black half of the cat was red and warped. It had a warped smile on the black half of it.

“Helloooooooooooooo Cock Bites!” The cat exclaimed.

“Oh no! Not you!” Watson exclaimed.

“You know this cat?” Gray asked.

“What the hell is going on here? We never got that question answered.” Brandon said.

“Whatever you do, don’t listen to a thing this cat- OW!” MonoWatson was cut off when the cat smacked him in the face.

“How dare you hit Watson!” Arryn yelled.

“He was sassing me up!” The cat replied.

“Who and what are you?” Josh asked.

“My name is MonoJoe, and I’m the new CEO of Rooster Teeth.” MonoJoe said.

“WHAT?!” the group shouted. 

“That’s right. With Matt not here, I took charge off all you. Isn’t that exciting? A fresh new start!” the cat exclaimed.

“He’s a big mean liar! Don’t listen to- OW” Watson was hit by MonoJoe once more.

“Stop speaking out of turn! And you look a little weird for my brother.”

“Brother? What on earth are you talking about, I have no relation to you!”

“Silly little brother, time to take your lumps.”

MonoJoe grabbed Watson and a puff of smoke appeared. When the smoke cleared Watson now had his body coloring divided like MonoJoe except blue instead of black.

“What on earth have you done to me?!” Watson cried.

“You will now be known as MonoWatson, and you are my little brother so you will refer to me as Oni-Chan.” MonoJoe stated.

“I feel violated. I need an adult.”

Arryn tried to run at MonoJoe and MonoWatson, But Kyle held her back.

“Arryn calm down. This isn’t helping.” He said

“FUCKING HOLD ME BACK BEFORE I WRECK HIS SHIT!” Arryn screamed.

“None of this is making any sense! How is this happening?!” Ashley said.

“Say is it hot in here or is it just me?” MonoJoe asked.

“I mean, yeah it’s kinda warm in here. But I figured that’s just because there are a lot of people in here. Are you ever going to explain how there are two talking animals here?” Jordan asked.

“Actually I was thinking we should explain the heat first.” MonoJoe said as the walls began to shake. Kyle quickly jumped off of the wall.

“What the hell man?!” he exclaimed. Then the walls fell over. The scenery outside the walls was that of an open looking desert. There were a few buildings near where everyone was standing, there were also a few buildings out in the distance, but they looked as though they were gated off. They were far away enough that it was hard to tell what they were. “What… the… hell…”

“WELCOME TO THE AUSTRAILIAN OUTBACK EVERYONE!” MonoJoe exclaimed.

“HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE?!” Kdin yelled.

“It’s possible because shut up!”

“How long were we out?” Gray asked, as he looked around that the surroundings.

“It doesn’t even matter. What matters is that you’re here now, and you look great. Who gives a shit?” 

“This is horrible!” MonoWatson exclaimed.

“What that you’re my bitch now? Yeah it sucks to be you. But it’s great to be me! Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu mu!” 

“Ok, we’re in Australia. Not Austin. This is fine…”Jeremy said.

“But how do we leave?” Blaine asked. “There are a lot of things that can kill people here.”

[A sinister gleam appeared in MonoJoe’s eye.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdSIg5Ivd_I) “I’m glad you asked, Blaine. I can tell you that there is only one way to escape the Outback. You have to commit a murder without getting caught. Specifically the murder of one of your co-workers here. If you can do that, then you can ‘retire’ and go home.”

The group stared in confusion. “What? Do you not believe me?”

“Ok, so we are trapped in the middle of nowhere in Australia with two talking stuffed animals. One of which is telling us we have to kill each other. I think it would be easier to think someone spiked my coffee with hardcore drugs this morning,” Brandon said.

“And by murder, do you mean sick burns or actually death causing?” Meg asked.

“Yes.” MonoJoe replied.

“This is beyond fucked up,” Matt said.

“You’re telling me. But thems the rules. Speaking of which, your IDs also contain rules for your stay, cause this ain’t no murder free for all. One of them, which Kyle stopped Arryn from breaking, is no touching of the CEO. We run a tight ship here. But you can beat up MonoWatson all you want. Now, I’m going to let you go to read that shit, also find murder weapons. In the meantime, I’m going to give MonoWatson a special new employee orientation.” MonoJoe said as he clawed into MonoWatson’s back.

“OW! STOP HURTING ME!” MonoWatson cried out.

“Shut up you little wimp.” MonoJoe said as he and MonoWatson disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“What the hell do we do now?” Josh asked. 

Joel suddenly curled up on the dusty ground. “AUSTRALIA! AUSTRALIA! AUSTRALIA!” He kept shouting.

“Will someone shut him up?” Jeremy yelled.

In all of the confusion, Matt looked up at the sky. “What the fuck is happening?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
_And thus began the weirdest and most despair inducing event we would ever participate in. No seriously. We were actually dropped in the middle of a foreign country and told we had to kill each other? Who the fuck does that even happen to?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a huge thank you to [renegadeartist](http://renegadeartist.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing this fic for us.


	3. Chapter 1 Part 1: Australian Tour in 4K

_Of course, before anything could really happen, we kinda needed to figure out our surroundings. I mean we were randomly dropped in the middle of Australia with very little context. You know what? I’m just gonna go ahead and continue._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After the group managed to calm Joel down, which took nothing more than Adam slapping him in the face, they decided they needed a plan of action.

“Alright gang! I think we should split up and search for clues!” Blaine said.

“Why do you get to be the leader?” Brandon whined. 

“I dunno. I just thought it was a good idea.”

“He’s not wrong, though. Splitting up would be good.” Kdin said in agreement.

“What? Would that be like each of us traversing the Australian outback alone?” Kyle asked.

“No, no. There has got to be a smart way to do this,” Josh said.

“Ok, well, that building that’s closest to us looks like it has three stories. So that is at least three groups.” Kdin said.

“I’m glad someone is good at math,” Patrick said.

“Don’t patronize me!”

“There also looks like there is another area out in the distance that we can explore,” Jordan remarked as he pointed in the general direction of the area.

“Ok, so that makes 4 teams of four,” Gray said.

“So, who were you thinking for teams?” Meg asked.

“Jordan, Patrick, Jon, and I will be, ‘Team Art and Animation’.” Gray said as he gestured to himself. “Meg, Arryn, Ashley, and Kdin are, ‘Team Ladies plus Kdin’.” 

Kdin shrugged. “Eh that’s fine.”

“Stop trying to be cool dude.” Matt said.

“I’m not trying to be cool,” Kdin replied curtly.

“Anyway, Josh, Brandon, Blaine, and Kyle can be, ‘Team Camera People’.” Gray continued.

“That name sucks.” Blaine complained.

“Deal with it. And rounding this out, we have Joel, Adam, Matt, and Jeremy in, ‘Team Crazy Stupid’.”

“Yep. No surprise there,” Jeremy said.

“I RESENT THAT!” Joel yelled. 

“Nope. Shut up,” Adam replied.

“OK, so Team Art and Animation will explore the far off area. Team Ladies plus Kdin can explore the top floor of the building. Team Camera People get the second floor, and Team Crazy Stupid gets the first floor. Any questions?” Gray finished.

“Yeah, who died and made you the leader?” Brandon asked.

“TOO SOON!” Arryn yelled.

“No one yet,” Gray replied.

“TOO SOON!” Arryn yelled again.

“It’s not too soon, we don’t even know how this works. Speaking of which, maybe we should meet up outside the building to discuss what we found and the rules.” 

“Yeah.” Everyone replied in agreement.

“Good. Now go. We are wasting daylight,” Gray commanded, [and the groups started walking towards their assigned places.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-fMDaPFXME)

Joel, Adam, Matt, Jeremy walked into the building. Inside they found a lobby with a small lounge area. There was also a front desk that nobody appeared to be sitting at. Above the front desk was a sign that read, “Welcome to the Kangaroo Pouch.”

“You know, this Australian gimmick is going to get really old, really fast,” Adam said.

“Yeah, no shit,” Matt said. The group turned towards the side doors and started walking in that direction. 

“So… what do you think about the killing thing?” Jeremey asked.

“I think it is a load of shit. I mean come on? Us? Killing each other? Half of us can barely tie our shoes let alone commit a real, actual murder,” Adam said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right…”

“I think it is safe to assume this is all bullshit until proven otherwise,” Matt stated.

“But what if tensions get high?” Joel wondered.

“Well we all have to put up with each other on a daily basis. It can’t be that much harder right?”

The group looked around the hall the just entered. The hall was lined with doors with their names on them. 

“I’m just going to put this out there, but I think this is where we are supposed to sleep,” Matt reported.

“Yeah. That sounds right.” Jeremey replied.

“What do the rooms look like?” Adam asked.

“I don’t know, let me try opening my door.” Joel said as he walked to the door with his name on it and tried to turn the knob. “It won’t budge!” he said as he struggled.

“Maybe it will only unlock at night?” Jeremy suggested

[Suddenly an obnoxious laugh came from out of nowhere. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emEg0zGS7KY)

“Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu. You guys are fucking stupid!” The group turned around to find MonoJoe standing behind them.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” Joel asked.

“Around. Anyway, I came here because, although I love to watch you people struggle, I figured I’d help you all out this once. So don’t get used to it!” MonoJoe answered.

“Ok…”

“Your ID serves many purposes. Including a hotel key. Try it.”

Joel took out his ID and placed it against the key reader he had previously ignored. Sure enough the door unlocked. He opened the door to find a perfectly average hotel room. “Well this was anti-climactic.”

“Yep that was it! There is also a broom closet at the end of this hallway. Also everyone is waiting for you outside! They are starting to get pissed! Meow mu mu mu mu mu mu mu!” MonoJoe said as he disappeared once more.

“SHIT!” the four of them yelled at once and they ran to exit the building. As MonoJoe had told them, everyone else was waiting for them.

“What took you guys so long?” Meg asked.

“We got caught up in talking to MonoJoe.” Matt answered.

“And what did that stupid cat have to say?” Ashley asked.

“Our IDs serve as keys to our hotel rooms. Which is what we found on the first floor. There is also a lounge in the lobby, which people who went into the hotel probably saw. There is also a broom closet in the hall but we didn’t look in it but MonoJoe told us it was there,” Matt finished.

“So that covers that…” Kyle said.

“Ok, we’ll go next.” Josh started. “On the second floor, we found this giant ballroom, and some electrical closets. The electrical stuff is pretty self-explanatory. But the ballroom has closets full of supplies for big fancy diners.”

“So this place is pretty fancy?” Jordan asked.

“The hotel rooms are pretty disappointing…” Joel murmured under his breath.

“Anyway, the third floor had a giant kitchen that would be any culinary master’s dream,” Arryn said.

“There was also a more casual dining room that would probably be a better place to meet instead of outside in the heat,” Ashley added.

“Yeah that probably would be a good idea for the future…” Gray said.

“Ok, last one. So it turns out that that area is a sort of park. It has this weird statue in the center of it,” Jon reported.

“And the statue kinda looks like my drawing of statue Burnie. You know the one where he is holding the can of Fosters and a platypus? Except the head of the statue is that stupid cat’s head. Which is really weird,” Jordan added.

“Anyway. There are also gated off areas that I guess you could have explored from there. You know, if it wasn’t gated off and stuff,” Jon finished.

“So this is our environment for our stay?” Blaine asked.

“Yep. Now how do we want to do the rules?” Gray asked.

“Circle Time!” MonoWatson said as he appeared with a puff of smoke.

“GAH! Ok seriously you guys need to give some more warning!” Patrick yelped.

“Sorry. But I feel like going around in a circle would be good. Everyone is equal!” MonoWatson exclaimed.

“If we do it your way, will you leave faster?” Kdin asked.

“Rude!” Arryn said.

“Look, I can tell that a lot of this is going to get really annoying. So I’m just going to be honest here,” he replied.

“Yes! I’ll leave as soon as you are done. Kdin why don’t you start then.”

[Kdin sighed as he pulled out his ID scroll.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9SAy3yTeJk) He flipped over to the rules and began to read. “Rooster Teeth Australian Tour Rulebook. By MonoJoe. Not MonoWatson because he sucks. Rule 1: ‘You freeloaders can live in the hotel and use the grounds for as long as it takes for someone to retire, or kill someone in case that wasn’t obvious’. And before you yell at me for shit talking MonoWatson, That was an actual quote from the rules.” Kdin said.

“MonoJoe isn’t very nice.” MonoWatson said sadly.

Meg cleared her throat and began to read, “Rule 2: ‘Night time is from 11 pm until 7 am. You are all adults you can police yourselves on the matter’.” 

“Why do we need clarification, we can see the sun?” Brandon asked.

“Who cares? Anyway Rule 3: ‘please sleep in the rooms provided for you in the Kangaroo Pouch. We worked hard on putting those together for you plus we don’t want your nasty drool all over the rest of the facilities’,” Arryn read.

“Clearly they did not try hard enough with those interior decorating skills,” Joel complained.

“Is it really that big of a deal?” Josh asked.

“YES!” Joel yelled.

“Moving on, Rule 4: ‘No banging. We won’t punish you for breaking this rule but the walls are thin. Be courteous. Miles and Kerry aren’t here so I don’t expect this to be a problem’. Is this rule book even real?” Ashley asked.

“Apparently. But that is just weird,” Gray said.

“Ok and next,” Patrick began, “Rule 5: ‘No messing with the security cameras watching your every move. We worked hard on setting those up. Don’t fuck with them’.” 

MonoWatson pointed up at the side of the building to a camera. “MonoJoe said they were for your safety. I don’t believe that for a minute!” he said as he shook his head with dismay.

“I wouldn’t put being a perv past him,” Blaine said.

“Rule 6: ‘No touching the CEO. I don’t want your nerd germs on me and the punishment for breaking this rule is quite severe. Also, throwing things at the CEO counts as touching. So don’t do that. But feel free to mess with MonoWatson all you want.’ But we have already been over that one,” Jon said.

“I just don’t want people messing with my baby. Who can apparently talk now… ok this is weird I guess…” Arryn admitted. 

“Ok, so, ‘Rule 7: Shower only once a day. Hot water is expensive. And not readily available’. Yeah, I don’t think… that that is right…” Jordan said.

“And last but not least, ‘Rule 8: ‘to get out of here, a ‘Team Killing Fucktard’ must kill one of their co-workers and not be caught. Nobody can ever know who done it. Ever. End of story. More rules will be added as seen fit.’ I’m starting to think that this may be serious guys,” Gray said sadly.

The group looked up at each other with distrust. Nobody actually had the balls to do it right? They hadn’t even been there for that long.

“Well my work here is done.” MonoWatson announced as he got up to leave.

“But you didn’t do anything!” Kdin yelled. And with that, MonoWatson disappeared once more. “This is bullshit. I’m going to bed!” he yelled as he walked into the hotel.

“Look. Nothing bad is going to happen to us,” Jon stated.

“Do you think this will all blow over then?” Kyle asked.

“We’ll think of something. We’re Rooster Teeth. We always do.” Meg agreed.

“I’m going to follow Kdin on this one though. I really want to think right now.” Matt said as he went inside as well.

Everything felt wrong with this situation. How was any of this even plausible? Matt walked down the hall to his own room and opened the door.

 _“How does something like this even happen?”_ He thought to himself. _“And why us? What did we do?”_ Matt jumped face first into his bed. _“Now that someone said nothing bad is going to happen, I know something bad is going to happen.”_

Matt groaned loudly into his pillow.

“Ffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuucck.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
_And something bad did happen indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is more of this.


	4. Chapter 1 Part 2: Party Hard Fall Harder

_Like I mean, bad shit happened almost immediately. We didn’t even have time to adjust to being in the middle of the Australian outback before something crazy happened. And then something that could have been awesome, then something horrible._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The next morning, Matt was woken up by the song of an annoying voice.

“GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING YOU COCKBITES! It is now 7am. Get the fuck up!” MonoJoe’s voice rang out from the speakers.

Matt groaned. It was too early to put up with this shit. He rolled out of bed and onto the floor. _“Now do I shower or just go get breakfast?”_ he thought to himself. _“Nah. I’ll shower. If I don’t they’ll probably make fun of me for having a greasy dick again or something. Man, Lindsay is an asshole.”_ He pulled himself up and walked to the bathroom. _“I wonder what happened to her. And the rest of Achievement Hunter for that matter. I hope they are ok. Hope they never had to deal with this bullshit.”_ He thought as he hoped in the shower.

After he finished he got dressed and walked up to the new designated meeting place in the third floor dining room.[As he entered the room he noticed that he was the last one there.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9SAy3yTeJk)

“Hey what took you so long?” Jeremy asked as he motioned for Matt to join him and Kdin at a table.

“I was taking a shower. Thought it would be a good idea to not smell bad,” Matt replied as he sat down.

“Fair enough.”

“Oh, by the way,” Josh said as he walked over to their table. “We already filled Kdin in on some things that we decided after you left. But we decided that we aren’t going to have anyone be out past 11pm unless it’s a group activity. We figured it was best if we all stuck together for most things.” 

“I guess that makes sense,” Matt replied.

“We also said we just shouldn’t kill each other!” Meg yelled from across the room.

“That one should be obvious.”

“I still think that self-defense should be an option to the rule,” Brandon said.

“I think it’s pretty simple really. If you don’t have to kill someone, DON’T FUCKING KILL THEM!” Gray yelled.

“Don’t be a douche Brandon,” Kyle said. 

“I’ve known most of you long enough to know that I don’t trust ANY of you with my life,” Brandon noted.

“Trust issues aside, how are we getting breakfast?” Matt finally asked.

“Apparently, the food will come out automatically on its own. The whole system is supposedly top of the line and all done remotely,” Ashley said. And sure enough, three carts rolled out of the kitchen with a large spread of breakfast foods on them.

“Good to know that the cat isn’t going to let us starve to death,” Blaine commented.

“Yeah. It will do this for all three meals, but we can still use the kitchen at the other times on our own,” Arryn remarked.

“That’s good to know. Daddy needs access to his protein powder 24/7,” Blaine replied happily.

“And now I’m slightly uncomfortable,” Kdin noted.

“Don’t make it weirder than it needs to be. That’s my job,” Patrick said.

“That reminds me. Did Ryan ever take you up on that basement offer?” Jeremy asked.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD!” Kdin yelled.

“I’d force choke him any day,” Patrick replied.

“STOP!”

“Are we sexualizing Ryan? I want to be in on this action!” Meg exclaimed.

“I need an adult!” Kdin sobbed.

[“WELL YOU DON’T GET AN ADULT!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELfxtdEakhk) an obnoxious voice rang out from the speaker.

Everyone looked up at the speaker in the ceiling. “What now?” Jordan groaned.

“Now that I have all of your attention, I have a special presentation for you all today!” MonoJoe said.

“I thought we would have free roaming,” Gray said.

“Well this is a resort. And resorts do put on activities. But I am in charge so I get to say what is mandatory and what is not. AND THIS IS FUCKING MANDATORY!”

“Great,” Kdin mumbled bitterly.

“Shut up whiney. Anyway. The performance will be held in the center of Platypus Park in now minutes. So get your asses there ASAP!” MonoJoe’s voice finally cut. The group let out a collective groan.

“This is gonna be good,” Jon said sarcastically.

“Really? Cause I have a bad feeling,” Joel replied.

“Joel, that was sarcasm.”

“And I chose to ignore the fact that it was sarcasm.”

“Everyone shut up. Let’s just go,” Adam said as he walked out the door.

“Someone’s jealous that someone else was arguing with their hate friend,” Jon said with a smirk as he too walked out the door.

“But we weren’t done with breakfast!” Josh complained.

“I’m sure if you grab something to go it will be fine,” Kyle replied as he grabbed an apple and also walked out of the dining room.

“All right. Grab what you need and head out,” Gray announced as he motioned for the rest of the group to leave.

“I’m grabbing so many bagels!” Jordan exclaimed as he ran over to the tray. 

Matt rolled his eyes and smiled as he walked out the door. He was sure the rest of the groups would be close behind. He walked to the park alone but could still hear the voices of some of group behind him.

Once he finally got to the park he finally saw what Jordan had been talking about the previous day. There was a statue that looked just like it was supposed to be Statue Burnie, except its head was replaced with the head of MonoJoe. In front of the statue, there was a cheaply made stage. Matt looked around the park some more. There were areas that were gated off, but these areas were guarded by statues of very muscular men with MonoJoe heads in various poses.

“That wasn’t in Jordan’s description,” Matt noted.

“MonoJoe must have had it built for his ‘special performance’,” Jon said, making air quotes.

“I mean the JoJo posing bara MonoJoe statues. They’re making me uncomfortable.”

“Oh yeah. Those are fucking weird.”

Slowly but surely the rest of the group started trickling in. 

“Great. This keeps getting weirder,” Kdin complains.

“I appreciate the aesthetic,” Patrick replied.

“We know,” Gray said.

“I wanted statues of me that capture my greatness!” MonoJoe said as he appeared with a flash on the stage.

“I think there is some unrealistic artistic interpretations here,” Jeremy commented.

“I’m a fucking talking cat and you’re going to comment on the statues being unrealistic?” 

“Fair enough.”

“So what the hell do you want from us?” Meg asked angrily.

“Calm the calamity that is your mammaries. I’m just here to present a comedy showcase and give you all some gifts complementary of the resort,” MonoJoe replied.

“My mammaries are not a calamity!”

“I second that notion,” Arryn said.

“Titties aside, I present to you, my not as good as me by a longshot comedy partner, MonoWatson!” MonoJoe said as he pointed and MonoWatson appeared on the stage.

“I didn’t sign up for this class,” MonoWatson said sadly.

“For our first and only act, I present to you, some slapstick comedy!” MonoJoe said as he pulled a stick from behind his back.

“I don’t like where this is going,” MonoWatson said as MonoJoe began to hit him with the stick. “OWWW!” MonoWatson cried out.

“STOP HURTING MY PUPPY!” Arryn yelled.

“I don’t think you understand what slapstick comedy is,” Joel said.

“Well that’s all I really had planned for you, you ingrates!” MonoJoe yelled as he threw the stick away.

“You also said you had some sort of gift for us,” Brandon replied.

“Oh yes. I almost forgot, and I know how defeated you look when you don’t get a present,” MonoJoe replied. Brandon pouted. [“Anyway. I’ve noticed that nobody is dead yet.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T048Hz17DbY)

“We’ve barely been here for twenty four hours,” Ashley said.

“And that last time I let it go, I had to watch things become painfully boring and domestic. I’m not making that mistake again.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Blaine asked.

“Doesn’t matter. What does matter though is that I have a motivation for you guys!”

“The rules didn’t say anything about there being motivations!” Kyle exclaimed.

“I didn’t think I’d need to spell that one out for you guys.”

“Just get on with it,” Jon growled.

“Alright, Alright. So there is someone amongst you who knows why you are all here. Someone who knows more than they let on. A traitor if you will.”

“That sounds like a load of shit,” Adam said angrily.

“Yeah, we were all confused when we got here,” Jeremy said.

“You all are capable of acting right?” Everyone glanced at each other nervously. Then MonoJoe pulled out 16 envelopes, one with each person’s name on it. “In these envelopes are either a blank piece of paper, or a confession to being the traitor.” MonoJoe tossed the envelopes out into the crowd. “I’m going to give the traitor one chance to reveal themselves now, and save everyone from heartbreak later on.”

“Wait. Why can’t the traitor just say they are the traitor? Why do they have to show us on a piece of paper?” Jordan asked.

“Because thems the rules. I don’t make all of them. Even I have some to follow.”

“And how do you know who the traitor is? Do they work with you?” Kdin asked.

“I know everything about this place. Maybe they do. They could have their own agenda or be a slave. Are they sinister? Are they good? Who knows? They do. And know more than you. Do with what I told you as you will. Bye!” MonoJoe said as he disappeared with a flash.

“So… does the traitor want to show themselves?” Jon asked.

“I don’t think we should worry about it,” Matt said. “Clearly there are some guidelines to it all and we don’t even know if MonoJoe is lying to us or not.”

“I agree. I think we should just toss the envelopes,” Gray said.

“Yeah,” Everyone said as they threw away their envelopes.

“And just as a precaution,” Joel pulled out a matchbook, lit a match and threw it into the trash.

“Why am I not surprised you had matches?” Adam groaned.

“I’m so glad that you all aren’t going to turn against each other!” MonoWatson exclaimed.

“Come here baby!” Arryn said as she walked over and picked MonoWatson.

“So what do we do now then?” Josh asked.

[“How about a party?” Jon suggested.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mESVTvnIVnw)

“Huh?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah! I mean, this whole situation kind of sucks. So, how about a party to lift our spirits?” 

“I like it actually,” Gray said.

“Wait. So Gray basically our leader?” Joel asked.

“We don’t have a leader,” Gray replied.

“Oh… cause it seems like you are leading.”

“No I’m not.”

“PARTY TIME!” Jon yelled, effectively stopping the argument.

“So how are we gonna go about all of this?” Kyle asked.

“I’m glad you asked because I’ve been thinking about teams for a while,” Jon replied excitedly.

“Ok. Go ahead,” Patrick said.

“Ashley, Kdin, Gray, and Jordan, will be in the kitchen cooking.”

“Do you even know if we can cook?” Jordan asked

“Just do your best. Anyway, Kyle, Blaine, Josh, and Brandon, will be on table set up. This is going to be in the second floor ballroom by the way. For added fanciness. Matt, Meg, Adam, and Arryn, can be on decorations. And Joel, Jeremy, Patrick, and I will do clean up at the end.”

“But I don’t want to pick up other people’s messes!” Joel complained.

“But you don’t have to do anything until the very end.”

“Oh shit. Really? In that case, I’m going back to my room until the party starts,” Patrick said as he was about to leave.

“I want the party to start at six. Don’t be late!” Jon said as he waved Patrick off.

“Same to you.”

And with that the group began to dissipate.

“We should get to planning the decorations. I think we should make paper hats by the way,” Arryn said as she placed MonoWatson on the ground.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea Arryn!” MonoWatson exclaimed as he wagged his tail.

“Paper hats are cool I guess,” Matt said with a shrug.

“Paper hats are fucking awesome!” Adam exclaimed.

Over the course of the next few hours, Matt, Meg, Adam, and Arryn, worked tirelessly on planning, making, and setting up the decorations in the second floor ballroom. Eventually, everything was almost finished.

“Guys, it’s almost four o-clock and I think we are looking pretty good,” Adam said as he checked his watch.

“But it’s still missing something…” Meg said.

“What could it possibly be missing? We got balloons, streamers, paper hats. It looks like a six-year-old’s birthday party threw up in here in the best possible way,” Matt said with a smirk.

“I got it! Matt, Adam, come with me. I’m going to need your help carrying stuff. Arryn do you think you can finish up on your own?” Meg asked.

“Yep. I’m almost done hanging the last of the streamers,” Arryn said as she gave a thumbs up.

“Good. Now come on! We’re wasting daylight!” Meg exclaimed as she ran out the door, with Adam and Matt trailing close behind. The three of them ran down the stairs to the first floor.

“What exactly are we getting?” Adam asked.

“You’ll see.” She said with a wink as she walked down the hall with all of the bedrooms in it. The groups stopped at her door as Meg swiped her key to open it. She opened her door and immediately ran to her closet. “You guys can come in if you want.”

“Are you sure we are allowed?” Matt asked

“The rules said no banging. I’m sure stepping into my room to carry stuff doesn’t count,” Meg said as she continued to dig through her closet. “AH HA!” she exclaimed in triumph.

“A confetti cannon?” Adam asked.

“Yeah! I have bunch in here! These would be awesome to have!”

“How did you manage to get a bunch of confetti cannons to Australia when you didn’t even know we were going to be here?” Matt asked.

“I can’t reveal all my secrets can I?” Meg said with a laugh. Adam and Matt laughed in return. “Now come on. Help me get these upstairs,” She said as she handed the boys handfuls of confetti cannons.

“These are actually a good idea,” Adam said as he walked down the hall. “Just don’t let Joel near them. I don’t trust him with anything that has cannon in the name,” He joked.

“Noted,” Meg giggled.

“You know what. Despite all the shitty stuff that could be happening right now, I’m really glad we are doing this. I think everything might just-” Matt was interrupted by the sound glass shattering, followed by a loud, dull thud on the ground. “WHAT THE SHIT?” he yelped as he dropped the confetti cannons he was carrying.

“That sounded bad,” Adam said worried.

“I think it came from outside,” Meg said as she dropped her confetti cannons and ran towards the noise.

“Wait up!” Adam yelled as he dropped his confetti and ran after her.

“And now there are confetti cannons everywhere,” Matt said and he began to run towards the noise. Suddenly a loud scream came from the same direction. “Shit!” he exclaimed as he finally caught up to Meg and Adam.

The horrified scream had come from Meg. The reason for the scream? [On the ground in front of them was the body of Kdin Jenzen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hn3gBV-nYc) . There was blood all over the ground, leaking from his body. He was surrounded by thousands of shards of broken glass. There were several wounds covering his torso. Over all it was a gruesome sight.

“Oh god!” Adam exclaimed as looked at the body in front of them.

“NO! NONONONNONONONNO oh god no,” Meg sobbed as she fell to the ground in tears.

Matt felt his chest tighten and a lump in his throat form. Someone actually did it. Someone actually died. No. Worse. Someone was actually murdered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_And that was the end of Kdin. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. It was horrifying. The worst part about it, the part that I didn’t realize at the time, was that it was the beginning of the new normal for us. And then it was time to take the next steps._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Kdin, If you ever read this (which I hope you don't), I swear I don't hate you! Like, I think you're fucking great and I miss Let's Build. I just happen to either kill you or write you like an asshole in my fics. I'm so sorry.  
> <3 Reject.
> 
> Next update will be the first intermission and the introduction of Dangan Rooster's reverse AU: Ronpa Teeth. I'll explain more about it next update. But I will say that if you have never read/watched/played/had any experience with the actual Dangan Ronpa series, I recommend skipping over the intermissions. They aren't relevant to the actual plot of DR2. [In the meantime, check out my fic masterlist on my tumblr.](http://rejectedusername-trashfics.tumblr.com/aumasterlist) I worked really hard on it and I talk about my future plans and schedules. Cheers!


	5. Chapter 1 Intermission: What the Fuck is Ronpa Teeth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of an author's note/ explanation to the intermission. if you skip this, I can't speak for everyone but I won't be mad.

Hey everyone, Reject here. Ok so I know I've been talking about this "intermission" thing for a while now. So I figured now is the time to explain that. Let me give you some back story to lead into that. So Cicco and I were probably sitting in his dorm a couple months ago, having one of our brainstorming session (Probably either to finish up DR or start thinking more about DR2). And then the though came up of "What would be the opposite of Dangan Roosters? (The RT Staff in the Office Life of Mutual Killing)". The question was basically answered in the form of another question, "What would it be like if Hope's Peak Academy was an internet entertainment company?". One of us was like, "Dude! We should write that!" And of course, like with the rest of our silly, outrageous, and cracky ideas *cough cough* RRDTI *cough*, we actually put thought into this. And thus Ronpa Teeth was born.

So Ronpa Teeth is going to be four short stories that take place in this reverse universe, with the characters from Dangan Ronpa and Dangan Ronpa 2, working at an internet entertainment company. You're probably wondering why we are only doing four stories. Well, originally I thought we were going to do five, but life kinda got in the way for me Cicco said it would be a better idea if I just used the first intermission to explain everything. And yes, DR2 is still being broken up into six chapters just like the first one, but the last chapter is not going to have an intermission. 

Anyway, Hope's Peak is an entertainment company owned by Byakuya Togami, and run mostly by Makoto Naegi. They produce many different shows for different audiences. We are really excited to show you guys what these guys have been up to in this happy AU where nobody actually dies. Thanks for reading. The investigation for Chapter 1 will be up soon.

-Reject


	6. Chapter 1 Part 3: Investigation START

_Nobody actually thought it would happen. Nobody among us seemed like they would be able to kill someone, especially a co-worker. But as I kept telling myself this, there laid Kdin’s body, my friend’s body, limp on the ground, covered in glass. It looked like he was staring at me. I don’t know why I didn’t cry, or throw up, or scream because I felt like doing every one of those things. All I could do was stand there and stare._  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
[*Ding dong, dong ding*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3asSbiegc4A)  
  
MonoJoe’s voice echoed through the entire island.   
  
“OH BOY!!! The first body discovery announcement has to be the best one. One of you had the guts to kill someone and now you guys get to have a trial to determine who the team killing fucktard is. You will have until the bell rings again to investigate. Haaaaaave fuuuuuun!”  
  
The three stood there for a minute, unsure of what to do. Jordan suddenly ran out and saw Kdin’s body.  
  
“So it wasn’t a lie,” Jordan said with a tremble in his voice.  
  
“Yeah, we heard a thud and came out to this,” Adam told Jordan.  
  
“I’d just got up to the kitchen and saw a broken window when the announcement started. I ran down here as fast as I could.”  
  
“I’ll go get everyone else,” Meg said fighting off tears. “I’m sure everyone should see this, too.”  
  
“We’ll stay with the body to make sure no one messes with the crime scene,” Adam replied.  
  
Meg left leaving Adam, Jordan, and Matt staring at the body still unable to comprehend that it was really Kdin, or just some ploy set up by MonoJoe. Then suddenly MonoJoe appeared.  
  
[“Have you guys started investigating yet?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdSIg5Ivd_I)  
  
“You sick fuck! You’re responsible for this!” Adam shouted.  
  
“Me? I wish I could take full credit, but it wasn’t me. All I did was keep you guys trapped here, force you to kill each other, present you with a motive and not stop this from happening. But I’m in no way responsible for this.”  
  
“Why are you here anyway?” Jordan asked.  
  
“Oh, I’m just here to present you with a little gift.” MonoJoe pulled out three tablets and handed them to the three. “It’s the MonoJoe file! In here you will find information about the case.”  
  
“How do we know this isn’t just some bullshit mystery without a real answer and you’re just trying to kill us all?”  
  
“Oh please, it’s the first trial. It can’t be that hard. I’m sure if some fool was watching this they’d already have an idea for who the killer is. You should get to investigating because the time for investigation isn’t infinite. Maybe you’ll have enough time to find all of the clues you need, maybe you won’t. But you better get investigating!”  
  
With that MonoJoe disappeared. [Matt opened up the MonoJoe file. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfpmW6s37U)  
  
“Victim: Kdin Jenzen. Found: On the ground outside of Kangaroo Pouch. Approximate time of Death: Before 4:00 pm. Cause of Death: Falling out of a fucking window.”  
  
Upon finishing reading the file Kyle, Blaine, Josh, Brandon, Patrick and Jon showed up.  
  
“JESUS CHRIST!” Brandon shouted.  
  
“So he wasn’t making it up,” Kyle said.  
  
“Dammit! My party is ruined!” Jon cried.  
  
“Jon, I think it’s more pressing that someone is dead!” Patrick yelled at Jon  
  
“But…party.”  
  
“Did Meg tell you guys to come?” Adam asked.  
  
“Yeah, Meg told us in the table crew and we ran into Patrick and Jon on the way,” Blaine told them.  
  
“Well we were just starting to investigate,” Matt informed them.  
  
MonoJoe annoyingly appeared to give the rest of the guys the same spiel and Matt got down to investigating with Adam and Jordan’s help. He started by looking at Kdin’s body.  
  
“There’s a lot of glass here. He’s cut up pretty badly,” Jordan observed.  
  
“Yeah, it even cut up his clothes,” Matt said. “But wait, this tear in the middle of his shirt, it’s much bigger than anything else.”  
  
Matt lifted up the shirt to reveal a huge cut underneath.  
  
“There’s no way that was from glass,” Adam observed. “What the hell could have done that?”  
  
“Maybe a knife?” Matt wondered.   
  
“We should give him a real good look and see if there’s any other injuries that might not have been from the window.”  
  
Matt looked all over Kdin. He noticed there was a spot on the back of his head that looked more cut up than the rest of his body.  
  
“I think someone might’ve hit him on the back of the head before they threw him out,” Matt informed them.  
  
“Why would they hit him over the head before they just straight up killed him?” Jordan asked.  
  
“I have no idea. I think I’ll go look for where he was thrown from. You guys stay here and make sure no one else fucks up.”  
  
The others had finished with MonoJoe and were looking around as well. As Matt got up Jon was right there. He was looking at a bunch of torn up pieces of paper.  
  
“What’s that there?” Matt asked.   
  
“I saw these pieces of paper. They look like they’re from a note of some sort. Someone must’ve torn it up,” Jon replied.  
  
“You think it might be a clue?”  
  
“I hope so. If it is then it’ll help me find whoever ruined my party.”  
  
“Wasn’t the party supposed to be for everyone Jon? To make us not distrust each other?”  
  
“You’re so selfish, Matt. Why can’t something be just about me?”  
  
“Whatever. Have you pieced anything together from it?”  
  
“Not yet, but I’m trying. You go investigate somewhere else and I’ll piece this together. We’ll find this party pooper.”  
  
Matt went inside Kangaroo Pouch and saw Jeremy, Joel, Arryn, and MonoWatson standing there talking. He approached them and began hearing the conversation.  
  
“Meg can’t be telling the truth. There’s no way someone’s dead!” Arryn protested.  
  
“I’m sure it wasn’t true! 110% positive! You know Meg has a sick sense of humor. She and MonoJoe are probably, no definitely doing a silly joke!” MonoWatson shouted.  
  
“Guys, I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s not a joke. I saw the body outside,” Matt informed them.  
  
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? No, this isn’t right. I’m gonna go get answers from MonoJoe right now!” MonoWatson said as he disappeared.  
  
“You’re not shitting me, are you, Matt?” Jeremy asked.  
  
“I wish I was,” Matt said sadly.  
  
“Damn…”  
  
“This is one of the signs,” Joel muttered.  
  
“Shut up Joel!” Arryn shouted. “And you shut up too Matt! This isn’t funny, so just stop it.” Arryn cried as she ran towards the rooms.  
  
Jeremy and Joel went after her and Matt went upstairs to look for where Kdin was thrown from. He saw an open door and heard noises so he went in. Inside he saw Meg, Ashley, and Gray were all standing in the kitchen. They were looking out the broken window.  
  
“Let me guess, that’s where Kdin was thrown from?” Matt asked.  
  
“Yeah…” Meg sighed.  
  
“Meg found us and we decided to look for where Kdin was thrown from. We came up here and checked the kitchen first since that’s where Ashley and I were about to go anyway,” Gray told Matt.  
  
“We looked out this window and we could see the body below,” Ashley added.  
  
“Did you come to investigate too?” Meg asked Matt. Matt nodded in response.   
  
“Well let’s get cracking,” Gray said. “Did you guys find anything outside?”  
  
“Yeah, Jon found some pieces of paper that’s look like a torn up note, and there’s something fishy about Kdin’s body that we need to find out,” Matt told Gray.  
  
“Hmm, well maybe we can get some more answers investigating here.”  
  
Matt started looking at the counter. The counter had been messed up. Things were knocked over and spilled all over the place. He looked in the sink and all that was in there was kitchen knife. Matt picked up the knife and it seemed wet.  
  
“Whoa Matt, no need to pick up a weapon,” Ashley said.  
  
“I’m just looking at this. It’s wet, but I don’t think it should be. Were you guys making anything before?” Matt asked.  
  
“No. The party wasn’t supposed to be until 6 so we were going to meet up after four to start making stuff. Gray was even going to make a giant meat on the bone.”  
  
“It would’ve been so big that you could’ve hid a steak skewer in it,” Gray added.  
  
“So nobody should’ve been in here. But obviously someone was.”  
  
“Whoever it was obviously needed to clean off this knife,” Matt pondered.  
  
“Hey, Matt, can you come over here?” Meg called from over by the window.  
  
Matt went over. “What is it, Meg?”  
  
“Be careful, there’s a lot of glass here. But this piece is a little round, it doesn’t seem like the others.” Meg then picked up a piece. “Ew, it’s wet.”  
  
“Is it wet with blood?”  
  
“No, I don’t see any blood here.” Meg sniffed the piece of glass. “It smells like vodka.”  
  
“Why the hell would it smell like vodka if it is from the window?”  
  
“Well it might not be…”  
  
Before Meg could say any more Gray called Matt and he went over.  
  
“You’re not squeamish, are you?” Gray asked.  
  
“Well I didn’t throw up when I saw Kdin’s body, so…” Matt replied.  
  
“Well I found this in the walk in pantry.” Gray pulled out an apron covered in hot pink blood.   
  
“Oh my god gross! I think I’m gonna throw up!” Ashley shouted.  
  
“That’s why I called Matt over. It’s wet which means it’s probably fresh and not some sort of aesthetic thing MonoJoe left us.”  
  
“You really think he would have something like that?” Matt asked.  
  
“Do you even have to ask that?”  
  
“So what could that mean?”  
  
“It means the killer probably got dirty. And it looks kind of like it was wiped on something.”  
  
“Weird.”  
  
“Not only that, but I think the killer might have been hiding in here. The door wasn’t closed when I got here.”  
  
“So you’re saying they hid themselves in the pantry?”  
  
“Exactly. Matt, you might want to let everyone else know what you found. You seem to be the relay between us. How about you see if anyone else found anything too.”  
  
Matt left and headed downstairs. When he got there he saw Jeremy, Joel, Kyle and Josh all talking in the main hall.  
  
“Hey Matt, did you find anything upstairs?” Josh asked.  
  
“Yeah a lot. Did you guys find anything else?” he replied.  
  
“We went to the party hall to see if we could find anything. I check under the table cloths and found nothing. I don’t know what I expected,” Kyle informed Matt.  
  
“What happened to Arryn?”  
  
“She locked herself in her room and refuses to come out,” Jeremy told Matt.  
  
“Damn. I guess she’s taking this harder than the rest of us.”  
  
“I’d say more realistically,” Kyle said.  
  
“Some people just aren’t ready yet,” Joel said.  
  
“I don’t think anyone’s ready to see a friend die.”  
  
“No, that’s not what it is you morons,” Joel scoffed as he walked away.  
  
“What is it?” Matt asked  
  
“I honestly don’t care,” Josh sighed.  
  
Matt left them and headed outside to talk to everyone else. He started by going up to Jon.  
  
“Jon, did you manage to piece together those pieces of paper?” Matt asked.  
  
“Yeah, I think I’ve got it. It’s missing a lot of pieces, but from what I have it says ‘Meet me in the kitchen at 3:30 J’,” Jon informed Matt.  
  
“3:30 J?”  
  
“I’m just reading what it says.”  
  
“Alright. I was also wondering something about the schedule. Do you know if-”  
  
*Ding dong, Bing bong*  
  
Once again MonoJoe’s voice rang. “Alright guys, I’m getting bored. How about we start this trial now before I die of boredom? Everyone gather at the statue in the middle and we will start the trial. And if any of you wanna be a draft dodger then I have a certain dog held captive, and if you show up he will be less harmed than usual.”  
  
They all slowly walked over to the statue. Arryn was the last to arrive.  
  
“Are you alright Arryn?” Matt asked.  
  
With her teeth gritted she said, “Better than ever. Let’s go and find whoever did this and punish them!”  
  
“So uh, where’s the trial going to be?” Brandon asked.  
  
As if on cue the statue in the middle of the island lifted up off the ground and underneath it rose a huge elevator, large enough for all of them to go into. One by one they walked inside and the elevator door closed behind him. As the elevator went down everyone looked around at each other without saying anything. They all knew everyone was saying in their head, “Who could have done it?” When the elevator stopped they walked out into a room with 16 elevated tables in a circle. One had a stand with a picture of Kdin with a bloody x over his face. The walls of the room were covered with pictures of kangaroos kicking members of Rooster Teeth. MonoJoe sat on a throne that rose above all of the tables.  
  
“Welcome to the class trial room! Everyone take your places and we can begin!” MonoJoe greeted.  
  
Arryn saw MonoWatson tied up and dangling from the ceiling right next to MonoJoe’s throne.   
  
“Let him down right now!” She commanded.  
  
“Shut up and take your spot or I’ll execute you first!” MonoJoe yelled.  
  
“Don’t worry about Arryn, I’ll be fine,” MonoWatson assured her.  
  
Arryn reluctantly went and stood in her spot. Everyone looked around with the same looks they gave in the elevator. They all knew it was trial time.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
_I looked at each and every face wondering who it could have been. I knew there was no point in asking myself IF it was someone in the room. I instead I had to ask WHO it was in the room. And as much as I didn’t want to know the answer, I had to._


	7. Chapter 1 Part 4: Who defenestrated Kdin?

[Trial ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8VRrRJ-Dik) Evidence:

MonoJoe File #1 - The death took place before 4 o’clock. The body was found outside of Kangaroo Pouch, apparently thrown from a window.

Bloody Wound - Found on Kdin’s chest. Bigger than a piece of glass.

Head Wound - Found on the back of Kdin’s head. Likely hit by something hard.

Table Teams Alibi - The table team were all together before the body was found.

Party Jobs - Decorations team: Matt, Meg, Arryn, and Adam. Table team: Kyle, Blaine, Josh, and Brandon. Kitchen Team: Ashley, Kdin, Gray, and Jordan. Clean up team: Joel, Jeremy, Patrick, and Jon.

Torn Up Paper - Someone tore up paper at the scene of the body. The body was thrown out a window though…

Note - “Meet me in the Kitchen at 3:30 PM J”

Kitchen Window - The window in the kitchen was broken with glass all around.

Kitchen team - The kitchen team was supposed to meet after 4 o’clock to start cooking.

Messed Up Counter - The kitchen counter was in a horrible state. Maybe signs of a struggle.

Wet Knife - There was a knife in the sink even though nobody was in the kitchen before.

Broken Glass - There was some glass that looked different than the rest. It smelled like Vodka.

Open Pantry - The walk-in pantry was found open when Gray came into the kitchen.

 

Bloody Apron - An apron with blood wiped onto it.

 

**TRIAL START!**    


MonoJoe: [Let’s begin with a simple explanation of the office trial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDaQZ6WJfTc). During the class trial you will present your arguments for who the killer is, and try to figure out “whodunit.” If you vote correctly then only the team killing fucktard will receive punishment. But if you pick the wrong person… Then I’ll punish everyone besides the team killing fucktard, and that person will earn the right to leave Australia!

MonoWatson: That’s so cruel!

Josh: Um… what’s up with that picture of Kdin? It’s kind of freakin’ me out.

MonoJoe: I would just hate it if he had to miss being in this trial just from a small case of being dead. He wanted to be in more things so who am I to not let him be here?

Matt: You’re sick.

MonoJoe: Tell me something I don’t know.

Gray: Before we start, I want to make sure of one thing. You’re sure the killer is one of us?

MonoJoe: Absotively posilutely! And don’t worry, I promise you this will be a fair trial. I’m the kind of cat who hates favoritism and prejudice. Not as much as I hate MonoWatson of course.

MonoWatson: Why do you hate me senpai?

Gray: I have one last question. Is there only one killer?

MonoJoe: Oh, most definitely. Every case is allowed one accomplice, but only the one who gets the kill will be able to leave.

Josh: Well if that’s the case I guess nobody would ever assist if they’re at risk too. 

MonoJoe: Alright, no more questions. Let’s begin this before I get bored.

Ashley: You’re telling us to begin, but what do we even do?

Blaine: Well I’m not the killer. So it’s someone else here.

Adam: It’s not that easy. You can’t just say you’re not the killer and expect everyone to automatically believe you. Otherwise even the killer could do that.

Blaine: Well I have the other guys in table team to back me up. Kyle, Brandon, and Josh have been with me for a while setting up tables. No one left for long enough to kill anyone

Adam: Well if we’re going for alibis, Matt, Meg, Arryn, and I all have alibis too. We’ve been setting up decorations all day.

Jordan: Wait, Arryn wasn’t with you guys when I saw you outside. Are you sure she has an alibi?

Arryn: Don’t you dare try to pin this on me! I was finishing the decorations with MonoWatson. He was with me the whole time, isn’t that right?

MonoWatson: Sorry, I’m not allowed to interfere with the trial. MonoJoe made it very clear.

MonoJoe: MonoWatson and I are only allowed to observe. If he gives you any information, it’s game over for him. So don’t go relying on him for alibis. And if you said please to him he’d probably vouch for you on a fake alibi anyway.

Arryn: Well I swear it’s true!

MonoJoe: And I swear like a twelve year old on Halo. Get over it.

Meg: Well I believe her.

Adam: Me too.

Gray: Yeah, let’s not get too much into hunting down one suspect. We still have eight other people, myself included, who don’t have alibis because our teams hadn’t met yet. But before we even worry about the alibis, we should try to piece together what happened. We can’t blame anyone until we know how the murder went down.

Jeremy: [Do we even know if Kdin was murdered? ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us7h0cTAuL8)

Patrick: What do you mean?

Jeremy: Like did someone actually attempt to kill him?

Brandon: MonoJoe said someone killed him. That’s the whole reason we’re having the trial.

Jeremy: But did they have some intention?

Kyle: They killed him, of course they had some intention.

Jeremy: But what if they did it by accident? We’re all clumsy, someone could have tripped and accidentally knocked him out.

_No, that’s wrong!_

Matt: I don’t think this was an accident. When I investigated the kitchen the counters looked messed up, and not in a used for cooking way. In a someone knocked a bunch of stuff around kind of way. I think there was probably a fight in the kitchen.

Jeremy: So someone really did murder him?

Arryn: That’s kind of what we’ve been saying.

Kyle: You’re saying they fought, but a messed up counter isn’t enough proof for a fight. Someone could have easily messed up after they killed him.

Adam: Well Kdin’s body did look kind of weird. There was a huge wound on his stomach, and I don’t think it was glass.

Joel: Maybe it was a really big piece of glass?

Adam: I think we would have found a really big piece of glass dumbass. If it were that big it would have still been in there.

Gray: And you didn’t find anything else at the scene of the body that could have made the cut?

Blaine: There wasn’t really anything else around that we found.

Gray: Well there must have been something from where he was thrown that was responsible.

Ashley: Did we find anything there that could have done it?

_I got it!_

Matt: Yeah, in the kitchen when we looked in the sink there was a knife in there.

Patrick: Did it have any blood on it?

Matt: No, but it was wet with water. It had recently been washed and left in the sink so I’m pretty sure that must have been what caused the cut. This is proof-

[**HOLD ON!**  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mymjF4AZJrg&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a&index=37)

Brandon: So what if they stabbed him? It doesn’t mean anything. You’re just wasting time.

Matt: What do you mean just wasting time?

Brandon: What difference does it make if he was stabbed before he was thrown out the window? He dies either way! 

Matt: But why did they stab him to throw him out the window and not just throw him out? There has to be a reason.

Brandon: Reason Shmeason. Kdin’s dead and if we spend all this time talking about that knife we’re never going to get anywhere. Unless there’s something else to prove that there’s more to it than just getting stabbed and throw out we need to figure out who did it!

[_Allow me to cut through those words!_  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F26Vt1Q2-E&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a&index=40)

Matt: Actually there is more to it than that. While examining the body we also found a wound on the back of his head. I doubt this one was from the knife. What it looks like is Kdin got beat pretty badly before he was thrown out the window. If they were just going to kill him why would they go through so much effort of the assault?

Brandon: Um, uh, ok fine. I guess it does matter.

Kyle: So you say they hit them over the head, but what did they do it with? Was there any other sort of weapon in the sink?

Ashley: I don’t think there was.

Meg: No, but I think there was something else that we couldn’t actually see. 

  
[ _I agree with that!_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHd7EKRlyo)   


Matt: While there wasn’t another visible weapon, the killer might have used a more disposable weapon.

Joel: Disposable weapon?

Matt: Yeah, bottle. While Meg and I were investigating we found some glass shards around the window that didn’t really fit in. The shards were oddly curved, unlike the windows glass.

Blaine: They used a bottle? Are you sure the glass didn’t just do weird glass shit?

Matt: Yes. The glass was still a little wet and smelled of vodka. Glass doesn’t usually smell of vodka if there wasn’t vodka in it.

Arryn: So the killer stabbed Kdin, hit him over the head with a bottle, and then threw him out a window? We know how it happened, but what does that tell us? We still don’t have a clue for who it was.

Adam: You’re right. We haven’t really made much progress.

Patrick: This is actually making me wonder something. Why did the killer do it?

Ashley: You mean what was their motive?

Patrick: Yeah. When the cat tried to give us a motive we just threw those pieces of paper away. And Joel burned them so we couldn’t even go back and look at them. 

Josh: Yeah, you bring up a good point. What possible motive could someone have to do this?

Gray: You know, there is something I wonder. Was it intentionally a murder? The extra effort into killing Kdin might not have originally been an effort to kill him.

Jeremy: Huh?

Gray: If the plan was to kill them, why go through that extra effort? Throwing him out of the window would have had the same effect.

Joel: Actually, it is possible to survive. Look at the Defenestration of Prague, Philipus Fabricius survived.

Gray: Yes but Kdin didn’t have the intercession of the Virgin Mary to protect him, so I doubt he would have survived. And this is no time for a history reference.

Joel: True.

Brandon: [But what could their purpose have been? ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK6R94HMgpM)

Matt: Hmmmmm. What was their purpose? Let me just play a game of hangman in my head to try and figure that out.

Jeremy: Seriously Matt?

Matt: Shut up, you know that’s how I think. And you know I respond better to praise than insults.

Meg: Come on Matt. You can do it.

Arryn: I believe on you Matt.

Ashley: Go Matt!

Joel: Fuck you.

Adam: Seriously Joel?

Matt: I’d to thank the girls for not being douches. Interrogation. That’s what I was thinking of. The killer probably wanted to interrogate Kdin.

Brandon: Interrogate? Why would they want to interrogate him?

Matt: [Because maybe he was the traitor. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoh-Z_TS_xE)

Josh: What!

Matt: As bad as it sounds, Kdin might have been the traitor, and maybe someone here wanted to figure out if he was.

Blaine: You don’t believe that do you?

Matt: I don’t believe Kdin was the traitor, but that doesn’t mean everyone here believes that. And whoever that is, might have tried to question him. They probably didn’t get the answers they wanted and well, we see the result.

Arryn: So you really think there’s someone here who thinks one of us is a traitor?

Matt: There’s someone here who was willing to kill someone, I don’t think that’s too much harder to believe.

Patrick: But I mean come on, that…that can’t be…true.

>Everyone looked around the room once again, not just suspecting someone of being the killer, but thinking again about the traitor.

Brandon: Okay, I think we need to start getting into the meat of who did this.

Kyle: Well we know it wasn’t table team or decorations team.

Jeremy: Minus Arryn.

Arryn: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!

Jeremy: Okay, sorry.

Josh: [So it could be anyone on the other teams.  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6av12TNw-0&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a&index=41)

Jon: It wasn’t me. I’d never ruin the party like whatever hooligan here decided to do it.

Patrick: Well it wasn’t me. I hadn’t left my room yet.

Ashley: It wasn’t me either. I hadn’t gone to the kitchen yet.

Jeremy: It couldn’t have been me. I had no reason to be in the kitchen.

Jordan: Well I had only just gotten to the kitchen when we heard the body discovery announcement.

Gray: Well if everyone claims to have an alibi then I guess we have no means for finding who did it.

_Nuh-uh that’s wrong!_

Matt: No, there is one thing that can help us narrow it down. This note that was found at the scene of the crime. It was all torn up but Jon taped it back together. When taped back together it says “Meet me in the Kitchen at 3:30 PM J”

Blaine: What does the J mean?

Gray: That part seems rather obvious actually. It’s probably the first letter of the name of whoever the killer is. I don’t see any other reason why the person writing the note would end it with any j word other than their own name.

Brandon: So the killer had the first initial J?

Gray: Yes. And there are 5 people here with that initial.

Matt: Josh, Jordan, Joel, Jeremy, and Jon.

Josh: Well you can mark me off the list because like I said I already have an alibi.

Patrick: But any of the others four weren’t on table or decorations crew.

Jeremy: What are you trying to say?

Brandon: We’re saying that all of you guys are up for suspicion to be the killer.

Joel: [Hehehe. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B09DBDSZJg&index=33&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a)

Meg: Um, Joel, what’s with the laugh?

Joel: Oh nothing. At least nothing you’d understand.

Adam: That doesn’t make me feel good, especially when you’re under suspicion of murder.

Joel: Ha, do you really think that I killed someone?

Adam: I’ve learned to expect anything from you.

Kyle: Well why did you laugh Joel?

Joel: Because you foolish humans really think that I am responsible for this sign. It’s funny.

Adam: Okay, let’s just ignore him.

Joel: Yes, go ahead and ignore all of the signs. In the end I will be the one who laughs and laughs when it finally happens.

Ashley: When what happens?

Adam: No Ashley! Like I said, ignore him.

>Joel goes on babbling incoherently.

  
[**TRIAL BREAK!**  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emEg0zGS7KY&index=8&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a)  


MonoJoe: Oh my goodness that trial is getting so heated. I bet you want to see how it ends RIGHT NOW! I bet you’d hate for someone to come in and interrupt the trial just to boringly talk to you. That would be the woooooooooorst.

MonoWatson: You’re even mean to the readers. You’re the worst.

MonoJoe: Yeah I am, but I’m not as mean to the readers as I am to you!

MonoWatson: Why do you hate me so much?

MonoJoe: Because Cats and Dogs are natural enemies, like snakes and mongooses, or bears and rabbits.

MonoWatson: Bears and rabbits? I’ve never heard that one before.

MonoJoe: Play more video games then.

MonoWatson: What do you mean?

MonoJoe: You’re just as hopelessly stupid as the employees. Gosh, get with the times.

MonoWatson: Can’t we just go back to the trial and see how things end? I don’t think our readers want this boring dialogue.

MonoJoe: Don’t you mean my AMAZING monologue with your horrible commentary.

MonoWatson: That’s not true at all.

MonoJoe: Well then how about you shut up, before I show you my special fighting techniques.

MonoWatson: No, please don’t hurt me anymore.

MonoJoe: Then stay quiet! I hate you slightly less when you don’t talk.

MonoWatson: …

MonoJoe: Much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's trial time once again. This time the trials are going to be longer so I plan to split into 2 parts and MonoJoe and MonoWatson will be there to comfort you between chapters. Hope you guys enjoy!


	8. Chapter 1 Part  5: Who defenestrated Kdin? Part 2

**TRIAL RESUME!**

Gray: So, now that we have a few suspects how abou-

Jeremy: [Hey Jordan, weren’t you the only suspect who was supposed to be in the kitchen?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU4hSFA-dTM&index=34&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a) 

Jordan: You mean on the kitchen team? Yeah, but-

Jeremy: Well the rest of us didn’t really have much reason to be in the kitchen, but apparently that’s where Kdin was thrown from.

Jordan: You’re saying that I’m the killer?

Brandon: He does make a good point. 

Jordan: I’m not the killer! I swear! I only got to the kitchen right when the announcement was being made. I rushed downstairs right after. Seriously!

Jeremy: I’m not so sure about that. Your name starts with a J and you were a part of the kitchen crew.

Jordan: It wasn’t me!

Jeremy: Well I think we need more than that.

Gray: I’m pretty sure there is more to that. And Matt probably agrees with me.

_Hell yeah I do!_

Matt: So you ran downstairs right after the message right?

Jordan: Yeah.

Adam: He showed up really quickly after the announcement.

Matt: Yeah, so quick I doubt he would have had time to rub off any blood on him. But there seems to be something that was in the kitchen that did have blood on it. There was an apron in the closet that had blood wiped on it.

Jeremy: Well if he was there before he could have done it earlier.

Gray: No, the blood was pretty fresh. And if Jordan was the killer I doubt he would have run downstairs with a shirt that still had some blood. Blood doesn’t come out that easily.

Arryn: So the killer must have gone straight from the scene to their room to change?

Gray: Most likely. But they’d probably wiped off enough that you wouldn’t notice the blood if you only got a glance, so they probably just hurried to their room.

Matt: [But Jordan, I have one question](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jmF7aSzFH0&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a&index=35). There’s a walk-in pantry in the kitchen. When you got to the kitchen was the pantry open?

Jordan: Now that you mention it, I didn’t notice the pantry being open. Why?

Gray: When I got to the kitchen that pantry was left wide open. If it wasn’t open when you were there and was open when I’d gotten there, then what does that mean?

Jordan: The killer was in there when I was there? 

Gray: Exactly, so whoever the killer is wasn’t able to leave until you had left.

Jordan: So if I’d checked in the pantry, I would have found the killer? Damn, this case could be over.

Gray: There’s no way you could have known, plus you might’ve put yourself in jeopardy. You’re fine. Now, what I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted, now that we have a few suspects, we should look at them carefully and examine the likelihood of them being the killers.

Patrick: There is one thing about the note that makes me a little confused. Why would Kdin have listened to the note when we’re in such a dangerous situation? Why would he be willing to be alone with someone when they could kill him?

Kyle: Well maybe he trusted this person.

MonoJoe: Are you guys about to accuse someone? Could you hurry up and do it? Time is up when I get bored.

Meg: So the killer is someone Kdin trusted who doesn’t have an alibi. Who could it be?

>Matt looked around once again, but this time he had an idea of who the killer was. 

[_You’re the only one!_  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ff9IrPtg_wI&index=66&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a)

Matt: Jeremy, I hate to ask this, but where were you when all of this happened?

Jeremy: Huh, what are you saying? I was in my room not doing anything.

Matt: Are you sure?

Jeremy: Are you suspecting me?

Matt: Are you guilty?

Jeremy: I can’t believe this! After how long we’ve known each other and you accuse me of murder. We’re not even going to look at the other two without alibis?

Gray: Well we can, but I don’t think it’ll look good for you if they have alibis.

Josh: Well, Jon does have an alibi actually. He was with the table crew a little bit before the murder.

Blaine: He came to check up on us, and see how we were doing.

Jon: Yeah, at about 3:30 I came to see how they were doing. I left not too long before the announcement.

Jeremy: But maybe he showed up later and killed him.

Ashley: Why would he show up later if the note said 3:30? If Kdin had got there at 3:30 and no one was there he’d have just left.

Jeremy: Okay, fine but what about Joel? Maybe he’s the evil one.

Adam: Yeah, I’ve thought that a few times in my life.

Joel: [Hahaha! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B09DBDSZJg&index=33&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a)

Gray: Dammit, not again.

Joel: You want to know where I was?

Adam: Not at all but we need to.

Joel: Well, if you fools had listened you’d have known what I was doing. Ever since the first few signs appeared I decided to go out into the surrounding area and search for more of the signs to assure my belief. Since my job was not until after the party I had plenty of time to search. While I found many odd signs of the eventual invasion of the Blee people in a few centuries and many signs of the rise in gold profit, I did not find any-

Arryn: I saw him coming in the lobby after the announcement. He was sweaty and couldn’t have come from the kitchen.

Gray: Thank you Arryn.

Joel: This is bullshit. I’m the only one who’s going to be ready if you guys keep ignoring me.

Adam: That’s probably for the best.

Gray: So Jeremy, you have any other excuses?

Jeremy: [Hell yeah I have more excuses!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHd7EKRlyo&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a&index=24) I’m not guilty! How would I have known to have done it before the kitchen crew got there?

Gray: Huh, when was it kitchen team was supposed to get there again? I forgot what we decided earlier in the trial.

Jeremy: 4 o’clock!

Jordan: How would you have known that?

Jeremy: Wait, what? Didn’t we go over that in the trial?

Gray: No, I simply made it sound like we had, you did the rest.

Jeremy: Ugh. Dammit.

Arryn: So, are you ready to confess Jeremy?

Jeremy: Confess to what? I’m not guilty!

Ashley: But we have all this evidence to say you are.

Jeremy: Well, well, you found a torn up note Jon, didn’t you? If it was near the body how could that have happened? When could I have torn up the note?

Gray: Well to do you that we might have to reevaluate the order of the crime.

Blaine: Huh, what do you mean?

Gray: We said he was interrogating Kdin, so would have just had him there wanting to kill him?

Adam: So stabbing him and then knocking him out with a bottle wouldn’t make sense.

Gray: Exactly. So what order would?

Matt: Using the bottle to knock him out then interrogating him when he wakes up, then when he didn’t get the answers he wanted he stabbed him and got rid of him.

Gray: And if Kdin was knocked out, wouldn’t that be a perfect situation to tear up the note? He could have torn it up and took away a few pieces that say his name, and threw it out the window.

Jeremy: Well, what if I didn’t know about the note?

Matt: Huh?

Jeremy: I knew nothing about a stinking note! I didn’t know he had a note on him! [I swear on my life I did not write a note!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSdokoS408s&index=20&list=PLU4ktq2pWONvsyBd_LrTVX8Et-gp0th4a) 

Gray: Well who did then?

Jeremy: The real killer did! I didn’t kill him!

Matt: Calm down Jeremy!

Jeremy: It’s cuz I’m short isn’t it? You guys always pick on me for that!

Matt: No Jeremy it has nothing to do with that!

Jeremy: I’m being made out as a lunatic for no reason! I’m not crazy, and I’ll kill anyone who says I am!

Matt: Jeremy, stop!

Jeremy: Avril Lavigne! Paris Hilton!

Matt: What?

Jeremy: If I didn’t write the note then who could have? The real killer that’s who!

_This is the end!_

Matt: Meat on the Bone!

Jeremy: What?

Matt: I mean, an accomplice!

Josh: An accomplice? Why would they do it?

Jeremy: That doesn’t make sense, you heard MonoJoe! An accomplice can’t benefit!

Gray: But we didn’t know that rule before this trial, so maybe they didn’t know. 

Brandon: And that’s if we even believe that he didn’t write the note.

Gray: And Jeremy could have easily searched his body while he was knocked out.

Jeremy: Dammit guys! I swear it isn’t me! I swear I swear I swear!

Matt: I’m sorry Jeremy, I don’t know why you did this. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m going to prove that you’re the killer.

**CLOSING ARGUMENTS!**

[_Here’s everything that happened in this case!_  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTPdehG3xro)

Act 1: It all started this morning when MonoJoe gave us our motive. We chose to ignore it, but obviously someone couldn’t get the thought of a traitor off their mind. The killer then teamed up with an accomplice to maybe get some answers.

Act 2: The accomplice somehow knew when the kitchen team would be meeting and told the killer. The accomplice wrote a note to tell Kdin to meet the killer in the kitchen. They finished the note with the killers name because the killer was someone Kdin trusted.

Act 3: Kdin arrived at the kitchen at 3:30, with the distrusting killer waiting there for him. The killer knocked Kdin out and then proceeded to search his body. While searching the body he found the note the accomplice had written. He knew if things went south this would be too much evidence against him so he tore it up, and likely took away the pieces containing the rest of his name. With only the J there he could accuse anyone else with a J in their name and take the blame away from him, if we even found the note in the first place.

Act 4: When Kdin woke up the killer began to interrogate him on whether or not he was the traitor, or if Jeremy himself was the traitor and thought Kdin knew. We can’t know what happened but we can tell that the interrogation did not go well for Kdin. The killer not getting the answers they wanted had to dispose of Kdin.

Act 5: Most likely in anger the killer stabbed Kdin. This wouldn’t have killed him but the next act would. Jeremy threw the body out the window and Kdin died when he hit the ground. Then to give us the evidence that he hoped wouldn’t lead to him, he threw the torn up note out the window. The pieces minus the one with his name landed there.

Act 6: Now to clean up the crime scene the killer washed off the knife he’d stabbed Kdin with in the sink but he still had to wipe off the blood from himself. He went to the pantry and wiped off the blood with the apron, but around that time Jordan came up, most likely because it was almost time for the kitchen team to meet. The killer hid in the closet and when Jordan came the body discovery announcement began and Jordan ran downstairs. The killer was then able to return to their room and change their clothes leaving no one to be the wiser when he face everyone else.

Matt: And that killer could be no one other than Jeremy Dooley!

Jeremy: Hehehe.

Arryn: What are you laughing about?

Jeremy: Well I can’t convince you guys I’m not the killer at this point can I?

Adam: Yeah, we’ve got a good amount of evidence to back that up.

Jeremy: Okay fine, but I have one question. Who was my accomplice?

Jordan: Accomplice?

Jeremy: Yes, I’ll admit that I did have an accomplice, and well I could tell you who it was, I’m not going to. 

Blaine: W…why?

Jeremy: Out of spite motherfucker. But you can gladly try to figure it out.

Meg: H…he’s just trying to syke us out at this point.

Arryn: We’re not going to listen to you anymore, traitor.

Jeremy: He, that’s another subject we haven’t covered, because at this point I’ve figured Kdin wasn’t the traitor, and neither am I. But I have an idea for who it is.

MonoJoe: Alright, I’m getting bored. You guys wrap this up in post-trial, but now it’s time to vote!

**TRIAL END!**

“[Good on you guys](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDn1C7aUVc8). You found up who did the thing. The midget in tin foil who slayed the dragon,” MonoJoe said sarcastically.

The rest of the group just stared at Jeremy in horror. “When you say it like that it sound heroic, but really it was just cruel,” Ashley said sadly.

“I don’t understand. We were all supposed to trust each other. We were all supposed to make it out ok,” Meg whimpered.

“I think it’s hilarious that you think that. AH hahahahahaha,” MonoJoe laughed.

“Oh my god,” Jeremy said slowly as he hung his head in his hands.

“Oh what now asshole?!” Blaine said.

“I can’t take this back can I? I can’t undo this?”

“Yeah, necromancy is bullshit. You can’t undead a guy. I know from experience,” Joel said.

“I don’t even want to know,” Adam said as he rolled his eyes.

“Then why did you do it?” Matt asked

“I was told he was the traitor. I don’t know how the other person claimed they knew but I thought getting information out of Kdin would help protect us in the end. God… I WAS SO STUPID TO BELIEVE THAT!” Jeremy yelled as he slammed his fist into his podium.

“Speaking of which, who was your accomplice?” Patrick asked.

“I can’t say.”

“Why the hell not?!”

Jeremy sighed, “I’m not a snitch.”

“WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE AT THIS POINT?!” Brandon yelled angrily.

“Don't you know about America's no Snitchin policy?.”

“We're in Australia!!”

"Oh yeah, but still. I'm no snitch. Even if I'm facing death." 

“Speaking of which. I think I’ve had enough of this. Any last words?” MonoJoe asked.

“I don’t want to die,” Jeremy whispered.

“Gee. How original. Alright then. I have a very special punishment purr you today. I call it, “Mini Golf Madness”. MonoJoe said as he pulled out a red button and mallet from behind his back.

“Don’t do it! Don’t be so cruel!” MonoWatson yelped.

“Quiet you! Don’t interrupt my funky flow! Anyway. Game over: Jeremy Dooly.” MonoJoe said as he slammed the mallet onto the red button.

Suddenly, a robot claw came from the walls and grabbed Jeremy. He screamed as it dragged him out of the room. The rest of the group watched as Jeremy was thrown onto a large green patch. Jeremy slowly picked himself up off of the ground as he noticed something horrifying. A giant MonoJoe was setting up a giant golf ball up at the start of the hole. MonoJoe hit the ball and it began rolling straight towards Jeremy. Jeremy ran as fast as he could away from the ball. He saw a windmill in the middle of the green and ran towards it, thinking he could find a way to avoid being run over but the giant golf ball. He ran into the windmill. Then the exit on the other side closed up. In the confusion, Jeremy tripped and fell into the hole in the center of the windmill. I single tear ran down Jeremy’s face as he sighed in defeat. This is what he deserved and this is what he gets. He held his breath and scrunched his eyes shut as he heard the sound of the golf ball approaching. Finally, the golf ball fell into the whole, crushing the man. 

“Aw yeah! Hole in one!” MonoJoe cheered.

Matt looked away from the scene in sadness.

“Guys. I know this is a really bad time for this, but if there really is a traitor among us, what’s going to happen now?” Kyle asked slowly.

The rest of the group looked around nervously. There really was someone amongst them who was out to get them.

“I don’t think there is any other way to say this but…” Matt paused. “We’re fucked.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_After something like that, it’s hard to trust someone. And if there really was a traitor, then we were all going to be their victims too. And in a much sicker way then just murder. We were all going to get played. And there was not a damn thing we could do about it until we figured out who it was. And the best case scenario was that we find it out before someone else died. But nothing is ever that easy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's the end of the first chapter. I hope you're all liking it so far. Now we have the first killer out of the way. I wonder who will kill next, and I wonder who that accomplice was...


	9. Chapter 2 Part 1: Everyday's Great at Kiwi Keep

_Now, in the spirit of nothing being easy and simple, or of not being easy or simple, my life. It sucked. And not in the, “I’m an angsty teenager in middle school and my grandma won’t let me play with my Pokémon cards,” kind of way. But nightmares. Nightmares happened after Jeremy and Kdin died. And it was terrible. I didn’t understand why then, I just thought I was sad and shit. Of course I know now but… yeah, that’s when they started. Luckily I also learned that I had a decent support system. You know, when it isn’t imploding on itself._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_[“OH GOD!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLaiZTOGTkA) Matt’s voice wavered as he looked at his blood stained hands. “How did I…? I don’t remember…” then he looked at the floor. Blood was leaking everywhere from the corpse in front of him. “Kdin… Where’s Jeremy? Are you even Kdin?! Oh God there’s blood everywhere!” he yelled. The corpse was unrecognizable. “Did I do this? Am I Jeremy? Am I some kind of monster?” The panic in his voice rose. “Am I a-”_

[“MATT!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9SAy3yTeJk) A loud voice awoke Matt from his sleep. It had been about a day since the trial. Matt had been feeling extra sad about the deaths of his fellow Achievement Hunters and had opted to mourn alone. “MATT WAKE UP! THERE ARE THINGS TO SEE!” Matt finally recognized the voice as Joel’s.

He rolled out of bed and walked towards the door. He opened the door to find Joel and Adam waiting for him. “Can I help you?”

“How are you feeling?” Adam asked sincerely.

“I’ll be ok eventually. But you interrupted a very important nap so whatever it is better be important.”

“You don’t look very well rested,” Joel commented.

“Yeah well, two of my friends just died so. Yeah”

“I understand,” Joel nodded sadly.

“But… there is stuff outside your room that can make you feel better,” Adam said.

“Yeah like booze.”

“And a pool.”

“Ha. Ha. This hotel doesn’t have a pool,” Matt said as he rolled his eyes.

“No but Kiwi Keep does?” Adam said.

“What the fuck is that?”

“So this kinda sucks… but after the trial and you went back to your room, MonoJoe told us all that we get rewarded for solving the case and that for every case, he unlocked one of those gates and we got to go into the area of the compound that is behind them. And this one was called Kiwi Keep. And has a pool. And booze. And other cool things. It kinda makes me wonder what the rest of the areas have,” Joel rambled. Adam and Matt glared at him after the last part. “But if we’re lucky we’ll never find out… because no one else will have died and we leave… somehow… I guess… Is that better?” 

“Yes,” both Adam and Matt said.

“I guess it’s off to free booze then!” Joel exclaimed. And with that, Joel and Adam dragged Matt, with little protest, out of the hotel and out into to the open.

“Is everyone else hanging out there?” Matt asked.

“I don’t know. Probably. It’s hot as balls and like we said… pool,” Adam replied.

Soon enough, the trio made it to the center of the complex. One of the bara MonoJoe statues had been removed and in its place was and open sign that said,[“Every Day’s Great at Kiwi Keep.” ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV4FWaDxFEs)

“Something feels off about the sign,” Matt commented.

“What’s wrong with it?” Joel asked.

“It just feels like an out of place reference.”

“To what?”

“I’m not sure. Something weeby that’s not going to be allowed to die with dignity.”

“Oh,” Joel replied and they walked into Kiwi Keep. Inside Kiwi Keep was this huge department store.

“Yo…” Matt said in awe.

“It’s like Walmart, but flightless bird themed and has a pool,” Adam said.

“Does it sell vegemite?”

“Sell is a funny word.”

“Ok… Wait everything is free right?”

“It’s complicated…” Joel said as the finally entered the store. “Hey why don’t you wander around for a bit? Go pick out a swimsuit or something and meet us back at the pool.”

“But I don’t know where anything is.”

“Swimsuits are that way,” Adam yelled and as he and Joel walked away.

“Great. Thanks.” Matt grumbled as he walked in the direction the Adam had pointed him in. They had been real quick to ditch him. But maybe they just wanted to get back to the pool.

When he finally made it to the swimsuit department he saw Brandon and Meg picking out swimsuits.

“Late to the pool party too huh?” he called out. Both Brandon and Meg turned their head in acknowledgement.

“MATT! YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR ROOM!” Meg squeeled with delight.

“Yeah, Joel and Adam dragged me out.”

“Well good on them,” Brandon said sincerely. “We were all genuinely worry about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah dude.”

“Are you ok?” Meg asked.

“Not really,” Matt said honestly. “But it takes time I guess. I’ll be ok eventually.” He shrugged. “We’re only human right?” 

Meg grabbed Matt and pulled him into a hug. “If you need to talk about anything. I’m here ok?”

Matt nodded. “Thanks.”

“Yo. Where’s my hug? Everyone is mourning and the rest of us didn’t get hugs,” Brandon complained.

Meg rolled her eyes as she let go of Matt. “Go ask Blaine for a hug.”

Brandon scoffed. “Um. No. besides he’s probably having a wet t-shirt contest with Kyle or something. And probably Josh too…” he shuttered at the thought.

“Look, If Chris dies or something, I’ll give you your mourning hug,” Meg said.

“I’m gonna hold you too it.”

“Don’t make it weird.”

“So how do we pay for this stuff? Or is it all free?” Matt finally asked.

“We’ve been stealing it so far. MonoJoe said there was some sort of currency system on here, but wouldn’t explain it to us,” Brandon admitted.

[“That’s because the final piece of the puzzle wasn’t here!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELfxtdEakhk) MonoJoe said as he appeared out of nowhere as he normally does.

“What’s the last piece of this puzzle that is your currency system then?” Brandon asked.

“Why, he is!” MonoJoe exclaimed and he pointed at Matt.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the protagonist!”

“That doesn’t make any sense! First of all, who the hell would make me the protagonist of anything? Second of all, real life doesn’t have protagonists,” Matt argued.

“Whatever fuckface.”

“Are you going to explain the system now?” Brandon asked impatiently.

“Right. Well you see, I have these gold coins called, MonoJoe Coins hidden all over the compound. But only Matt can find them. Once Matt finds them, he can use them to buy stuff for the rest of you. He’s not allowed to ask what you like, though. He has to guess! It’s a test to see how well he knows all of you,” MonoJoe explained.

“There are so many things wrong with that system,” Meg stated bluntly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why only Matt? It’s super inconvenient to make him our personal shopper when there are thirteen other people still here who are going to need stuff. And why is him guessing what we want or need a good idea? What if one of us needs something really fucking important and he gets us the wrong thing or gives what we need to the wrong person? How the hell did you even come up with something as convoluted and dumb as this?!” Meg ranted. 

“You know what? I worked so hard at putting this system together for you. I thought I would a fun test for Matt but clearly my efforts and greatness are unrecognized here. I have dedicated my holy life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ and this is the thanks I receive? You know what fuck all of you. Loot the goddamn store. TAKE A SHIT ON THE FLOOR FOR ALL I FUCKING CARE! FUCK YOU, YOU UNGREATFUL FELONS! I’M OUT!” MonoJoe screamed as he disappeared once more.

[“Ok so looting is allowed. Got it,"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV4FWaDxFEs) Matt said as he gave a thumbs up.

“I do hope that no one takes a shit on the floor though…” Brandon said.

“Ok. Cool. So just grab a bathing suit. I’m gonna go grab stuff to make riot punch. I normally wouldn’t drink it without Michael, Lindsay, or Gavin, But I think we all deserve swimmy bevs.” Meg said as she grabbed a bikini and ran off towards the grocery department. Brandon and Matt shrugged as they too, picked out swimsuits and walked off to go change.

When they both were done changing, the met back up in the center of the store.

“So which way is the pool?” Matt asked.

“This way,” Brandon responded as he motioned for Matt to follow him. Matt followed him out of the store and out to the back. The two of them eventually walked up to a large gate. Brandon pulled out his ID card and swiped it. Then he pushed the gate open to reveal a large pool. 

[The pool was beautiful.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-fMDaPFXME) It had a waterfall flowing into it and a small slide. Next to the pool was a hot tub, which was empty because it was far too hot for anyone to want to use it. And everyone was there. Ashley and Gray were lounging is pool chairs off to the side. Jon, Jordan, and Patrick were doodling in sketchbooks that they clearly stole from the store, while they had their feet in the water. Joel and Adam were having a giant splash fight away from Arryn, Kyle, Blaine and Josh, who were chilling in the corner.

Jon looked up from his sketch book. “Oh hey! Matt made it out!” he announced.

Everyone looked up from what they were doing and smiled. Matt just shrugged.

“Well what are you waiting for dude? Jump in. The water’s great!” Blaine called out.

Suddenly there was a loud slamming noise that gained the attention of the whole group.

“Guys! I got booze!” Meg exclaimed and she carried in bottles of Smirnoff, Sunny D, cups and a bag of ice. Everyone cheered at the announcement.

“I think there is one of those drink cooler things over by the towels,” Josh pointed out.

“Fucking sweet!” Meg giggled as she dashed in that direction.

Matt let out a deep breath. Then he pulled off his shirt and dashed straight towards the pool. “I’M COMING IN!” he yelled as he jumped in, making a large splash. Everyone laughed and relaxed as they waited for Meg to finish up with the riot punch.

_“Yeah. This is fine. Everything is going to be just fine,”_ Matt thought to himself as he began to relax once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Of course everything was not fine. We still had murder complex cat to deal with. And the fear and sadness that comes with death and stuff. But I guess it’s in those moments of peace that you can really sort of appreciate what you have. Because peace like that doesn’t last forever. Not in this situation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And for those who were wondering, yes I have blasted the Junes theme with the windows down in my car on a mostly empty highway, while screaming "EVERYDAY'S GREAT AT YOUR JUNES" with no regrets. Just in case you needed more proof that I'm literal weeb trash.


	10. Chapter 2 Part 2: Not Vanilla, But Strawberry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. this chapter was a lot longer that I thought it was going to be. No it's not why it took longer, I'm just starting to get lazy and busy. Cicco is visiting me this weekend so maybe I'll have more energy soon. Now go forth and enjoy your bloody chapter.

_And as it goes, our peace didn’t last, even though half of us were drunk as fuck. But everyone has their unhealthy healing rituals am I right? HHAHAHAHAhahahA… Okay this is just getting more uncomfortable now… Do you want me to…? Yeah… I’m just gonna… keep going then._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[The next three days were spent at Kiwi Keep in what seemed to be a never ending pool party](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mESVTvnIVnw). Everyone was trying really hard to distract themselves from the gravity of the situation to the best of their abilities, and if that meant not being sober, then so be it.

Everyone was lounging by the pool, just as they had been doing for the past few days.

“So…” Arryn started, breaking the comfortable silence they the group had been in. 

“What?” Josh asked.

“Are we just being left alone now?”

“That would be nice wouldn’t it?” Patrick said. 

“I mean yeah. But I’m starting to get a little homesick,” Arryn admitted. “I miss Miles and my real Watson. No offense to MonoWatson but yeah…”

Gray sighed. “Maybe we just need to ride this out some more, then he’ll give up. I mean, two people are dead. That’s way more than anyone needs to deal with.”

“On that note, pour one out for my dead homies,” Matt said as he poured his beer on the ground.

“Dude,” Blaine said with a look of shock.

“What? I can’t drink my problems away. As fun as getting drunk is, I’ve got to face the music, my friends are dead. They aren’t coming back. I miss them a lot, but I can’t emotionally stunt myself forever. I appreciate all the fun we’ve been having though,” Matt said sincerely.

“That was surprisingly nice of you,” Jordan remarked.

“OH I’M SO PROUD OF MY HOBO CHILD!” Joel sobbed with joy.

“He’s not actually our son you know,” Adam said.

“Matt’s right. But I have a bad feeling about today,” Meg said as she bit her lip.

“Why do you have to be a Debbie downer?” Ashley asked.

“I don’t mean to be one, I just have a hunch. I don’t know it’s weird…”

“Meg, you’re being paranoid. Everything is fine. Stop worrying so much,” Jon said as he walked over to Meg and rested his hand on her shoulder. “Everything is going to be just fine”

“Yeah, and it’s not like we’ve gotten another motive yet,” Brandon added.

[“AW! If I had known you wanted another motive I would have made one for you sooner,”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emEg0zGS7KY) an unpleasant whiny voice blasted out from the speakers.

“GODDAMMIT BRANDON!” Blaine and Kyle yelled.

“What?! How was I supposed to know that was going to happen?!” Brandon complained.

“Because I sit by the security cameras waiting for you to fuck up Brandon. Everyone knows that,” MonoJoe said.

“That’s not creepy at all,” Brandon remarked sarcastically.

“Well watching you sleep isn’t nearly as invasive as my next motive. Everybody get up and meet me in the center of the complex in the next ten minutes if you want to get your ass kicked. And I mean your emotions are going to get an ass kicking because of the heart wrenching performance I have for you today.” The speakers cut off and everybody groaned.

“Thanks a lot Brandon,” Blaine said.

“I was right bitches!” Meg yelled.

“Why are you proud of being right about this?” Jordan asked.

“Hey you take what you get,” Meg said as she made he was towards the gate. Matt quickly got up and followed her to the gate.

“You have really good intuition about things,” Matt said.

“Thank you,” Meg said with a smile.

“Is that because you’re in the know?”

“Wow. I did not realize you were capable of such a shitty joke.”

“I’m not proud of that.”

“Don’t worry. Nobody is proud of you for that.”

And with that, the two made their way to the center of the complex. They waited silently for the rest of the group to arrive. The rest of them slowly trickled in. once everyone arrived at the Burnie/MonoJoe statue. There was a sudden poof and a puppet show stage appeared out of thin air.

“How do you even do that?” Patrick asked in amazement.

“Art is a lie, nothing is real,” MonoJoe said as he peered out from behind the stage.

“Seriously?” Jon said annoyed.

“Actually, I just didn’t count on you fucks arriving in a timely manner.”

“Well we did so…” Meg said.

“Where’s MonoWatson?” Arryn asked.

“In time out because he’s a baaaaaad boy.”

“The way you said that makes me uncomfortable,” Kyle stated.

“Grow the fuck up, shut the fuck up, and sit the fuck down.” MonoJoe ordered. Everyone rolled their eyes and sat down. “Good! Now do I have a show for you!”

**Dangan Roosters Puppet Show**  
Sponsored by Crocs  
Story by David Cage  
Narrated by Levar Burton (Against his will) 

[Narrator: It was a beautiful day in in Despair Land and MonoJoe Friend decided to go on a walk and say hi to all of his friends.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INLmO8sZO1o) The first friend he saw Jack Friend, who looked very sad. MonoJoe Friend went up to talk to Jack friend.

MonoJoe Friend: What’s wrong Jack Friend?

Jack Friend: I miss Caiti Friend. She went to Australia for a week and left me here on my own.

MonoJoe Friend: Oh no, poor little baby. Would it help if could take you to Australia?

Jack Friend: Yes, that would make me happy. 

MonoJoe Friend: Well it’s impossible for me to take you there for real, but I have the next best thing.

Jack Friend: What would that be?

MonoJoe Friend: I’ll put you into the scorpion tank! It has 500 scorpions and includes all 29 species of scorpions found in Australia.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend picked up Jack Friend before he could protest and threw him into the pit.

MonoJoe Friend: Does it feel like Australia in there?

Narrator: But Jack Friend didn’t respond.

MonoJoe Friend: Oh yeah, I guess the toxic from the stingers has probably made him fall asleep. I’ll let him sleep.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend left Jack friend and continued on until he ran into Lindsay Friend who was crying.

MonoJoe Friend: What’s the matter Lindsay Friend?

Lindsay Friend: I was spending time with Michael Friend, but then Gavin came by and took him away. Now Michael is too busy touching dicks with Gavin to spend any time with me and I feel lonely.

MonoJoe Friend: Oh, you must be so lonely. What if I got you a friend to keep you company?

Lindsay Friend: That might help. Especially if the friend is a cat.

MonoJoe Friend: I have the perfect cat for you.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend then opened a cage and a puma came out. The puma went up to Lindsay Friend and tore her to shreds.

MonoJoe Friend: Oh no, I guess the puma was a little too riled up.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend went back to walking. As he continued walking along Despair Land he saw Kerry Friend, who looked very troubled.

MonoJoe Friend: Hello Kerry Friend. How are you doing on this horrible day?

Kerry Friend: Not very good. I bumped my head and can’t seem to remember where Miles Friend is.

MonoJoe Friend: Well that’s no good. Well bumping your head made you forget where Miles Friend was, maybe hitting it harder would help you remember.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend then took out a brick and began to beat Kerry Friend over the head with it.

MonoJoe Friend: Do you remember now, Kerry Friend?

Narrator: But Kerry Friend did not respond.

MonoJoe Friend: I’m sure if he wakes he’ll remember where Miles Friend is.

Narrator: As MonoJoe Friend continued he came to the Despair Land beach. He saw Barbara Friend, Kara Friend, and Gus Friend at the beach.

Barbara Friend: Come on, let’s all go swimming. The rip tides look powerful today!

Kara Friend: Those are perfect conditions for swimming. Come on Gus Friend, join us!

Gus Friend: No, I don’t want to swim.

MonoJoe Friend: Why don’t you want to swim Gus Friend? Is something wrong?

Gus Friend: No, I just don’t feel like swimming today.

MonoJoe Friend: Oh I get it, you’re afraid of the water. There’s nothing to be afraid of! Water isn’t scary at all.

Gus Friend: I’m not afraid of the water, I just don’t want to swim in a rip tide.

MonoJoe Friend: Don’t worry I’ll help you get over your fear of water.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend then grabbed Gus Friend and shoved his whole body underwater.

MonoJoe: See? The water isn’t that scary. When you stop struggling I’ll let go of you and you can start to enjoy the water.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend waited and eventually Gus Friend stopped moving all together.

MonoJoe Friend: Now you’re relaxed and you can enjoy the water.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend let go of Gus Friends body and left it in the water as he continued along. Finally, he saw Ray Friend who looked like he was struggling. He was shooting arrows from a bow but couldn’t hit anything.

MonoJoe Friend: Is everything alright Ray Friend?

Ray Friend: No, I’m hunting for achievements but I can’t seem to find any.

MonoJoe Friend: Can I help you out?

Ray Friend: Sure, pick up that spear on the ground and throw it at any achievements you see.

Narrator: MonoJoe Friend did as Ray Friend said and picked up the spear. Then, he saw an achievement right behind Ray Friend and threw the spear, but Ray Friend was in the way and the spear went right into Ray Friend.

MonoJoe Friend: Uh oh. Are you okay Ray Friend? 

Narrator: But Ray friend didn’t respond.

MonoJoe Friend: You’ll never catch any achievements if you fall asleep on the job. Ah man, looks like my friends are too busy sleeping or playing with other friends.[I guess I’ll need some new friends. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdSIg5Ivd_I)

>MonoJoe Friend raised his hands and 14 puppets rose onto the stage. Each puppet resembled one of the remaining cockbites.

MonoJoe Friend: Now I have 14 new friends to play with. I can’t wait to get to know all of you. But how am I going to get to know 14 people very well.

Joel Friend: What if we had a pig roast, but instead of a pig, we roast Adam?

Brandon Friend: What if we go around in a circle and talk about times we disappointed our parents?

Jon Friend: What if I made shirts of embarrassing moments of each person here?

Ashley Friend: What if we play strip Halo? Whoever gets last place in a round takes off a piece of clothing.

Jordan Friend: What if we draw each other and insult the people whose drawings are bad.

Kyle Friend: What if we make sponsor stars and write the person we hate the most on each star.

Matt Friend: No, I have the best idea. What if we have MonoJoe read our internet histories out loud?

MonoJoe Friend: That’s a wonderful idea! How about we start with you Matt? 

>The curtain fell over the show, but MonoJoe Friend came out from behind the curtain.

MonoJoe Friend: That’s the end of the first puppet show. The second part of the puppet show will be shown tomorrow. Unless someone kills someone, then the show will be cancelled.

“WHAT?!” the whole group yelled in shock.

“I mean, I told you if you want to see the rest of the show, then just wait till tomorrow. But don’t kill anyone if you want to see it,” MonoJoe said calmly.

“How?! How did you even get something like that?!” Blaine yelled.

“Very carefully, you filthy heathens. I already looked at some of it and some of you motherfuckers need Jesus.”

“And you have everyone’s internet histories?” Jordan asked.

“Yep! I have everyone’s!” Gray coughed loudly to get MonoJoe’s attention MonoJoe sighed. “Except for Gray’s…” Gray pumped his fist into the air in victory.

“WHAT?!” Josh yelled.

“That’s fucking bullshit!” Ashley screamed.

“Why the fuck don’t you have his!? Is he the traitor?!” Jon asked.

“No you dirty sinners. He only browses in incognito. No amount of hacking can get that shit.”

“Sucks to be you bitch!” Gray yelled as he flipped MonoJoe off with both hands.

“You better watch those fingers if you don’t want them bitten off,” MonoJoe seethed.

“Meh,” Gray said and he rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, if you want to know everyone’s dirty little secrets, don’t kill anyone. Later!” MonoJoe said cheerfully and he and the stage disappeared without a trace. 

[“Well, I don’t need to be here for the drama that is about to happen so I’ll be on my way,”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SnbZq-UpQg) Gray announced as he began to walk away.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Adam growled.

“Well, since there is nothing to reveal about me, there’s no real reason I should have to stay for the tears and or over sharing session that is about to happen. Plus I stole Kyle’s watch earlier and it’s getting boring waiting for him to notice,” Gray said as he held up the watch.

Kyle quickly looked at his wrist, then back at Gray. “Dude! What the fuck!? How did you even?”

“You learns some interesting skills working on RWBY,” he said as he tossed the watch back to Kyle.

“Why would you even want this old thing? It’s not even water proof,” Kyle said sadly.

“Eh. It was more to test my abilities,” Gray said with a shrug. “Either way. I’m out. There’s a pool and a bottle of tequila calling my name,” Gray said as he finally made his leave.

“FINE! NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE YOU CRUSTY OLD ASSHOLE!” Ashley yelled.

“The salt is strong today,” Jon noted.

“Yeah well. Some of us wish to stay professional in the eyes of their coworkers,” Ashley said with a huff.

“Well girlfriend, you should have worked at another company!” Josh said as he snapped his fingers in z formation.

“Josh… no…” Arryn said.

[“Well he’s got a point. Since when has anyone at this company had any real sense of shame?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8cbp2jwGVk) Brandon asked.

“I have shame!” Blaine argued.

“How many times have you been naked on camera?”

“Not enough.”

“And how about you Josh?”

“Definitely not enough. But I never said I had shame,” Josh replied.

“Exactly. So since we’re already shameless people, we shouldn’t really care what we learn about each other’s fetishes. We can always drink to forget,” Brandon suggested.

“Alright asshole, what type of porn do you watch?” Adam asked

“Normal straight porn… sometimes lesbian…”

“Seriously dude? You expect us to believe that?”

“Well you’re gonna find out tomorrow anyway so what’s the point of lying about it?”

“Maybe that’s what you want to think, so you’ll kill one of us tonight and we’ll think you’re innocent because you told us what type of porn you watch,” Adam hypothesized.

“Ok, when I need to tell you that you’re overthinking something, you’re definitely overthinking it,” Joel said.

“Besides, I can’t imagine anyone here being an overly kinky person, besides maybe Meg and Patrick,” Brandon continued.

“Do you think about other people’s fetishes a lot?” Jordan asked.

“I dunno, not really. But I guess that Meg and Arryn watch lesbian porn too…”

“MILES DOESN’T HAVE A VAGINA AND I HAVE NEEDS!” Arryn yelled.

“And Gavin is a vanilla baby. I mean, who complains that much about a finger up their ass?” Meg said with dismay.

“Patrick occasionally watches gay porn probably…” Brandon continued.

“I said it once and I’ll say it again. Sometimes I like pepperoni on my pizza. The pepperoni is penis and the pizza is my sex life,” Patrick said with a shrug.

“Joel fucks gold, and Matt probably reads fanfiction of himself…” 

“I resent that!” Joel yelled.

“Yeah… But I don’t jerk off to it! I just think it’s flattering,” Matt said.

“And I honestly never bothered to think about the rest of you,” Brandon finished. 

“Wow. Rude,” Josh said.

“What? You actually wanted him to think about your sexual preferences?” Ashley asked.

“I wanted to know if he was right.”

“Either way, I’m going back to the hotel. To read more fanfiction of myself. And not jerk off to it,” Matt said as he began to leave too.

“Sure Matt,” Kyle said.

“Is this going to be a running joke now?”

“Eh. Probably not,” Arryn said.

“Good. Cause it sucked!” Matt yelled as he walked back to the hotel by himself. After he got back to his room, he actually did read fanfiction of himself even skipping the late dinner with everyone for a little while until there was a knock on his door.

He got up to open the door. As he opened the door, he saw Meg standing outside his door. She waved awkwardly. 

“Oh, what’s up?” he asked

“Okay, this is pretty stupid but, some of us are kinda scared because there was a motive today, and we’re doing a room switch,” Meg said sheepishly.

“And you want me to switch rooms with-”

“Yep,” Meg cut him off with a nod.

“Sure. I mean I guess I can switch rooms with you.” 

Meg laughed. “Oh what? You thought I was switching rooms with you? God no. that’s a terrible trap cliché. Next you’ll think I’m coming onto you, only to stab you in the back, and then there’ll be a dead body on our hands. We don’t want that, right?” Meg began to laugh hysterically.

“That was oddly specific. But I guess you have a point. But why would I ever think you’re coming onto me? I don’t understand that connection.”

“Doesn’t matter. Anyway, I switched rooms with Jordan for the night, you’ll be switching rooms with Patrick,” Meg said.

“Wait, what?” Matt said as he saw Patrick running down the hall with a duffle bag.

“Sup,” Patrick said as he got to Matt’s door.

“Uh… Hi?”

“Welp. Here’s my key. Good night,” Patrick said as he handed him, pushed him aside and shut the door.

“Uh… Meg?’ Matt said, but Meg was already walking towards Jordan’s room.

“Good night, Matt!” she called out as she walked into Jordan’s room and shut the door.

“Well shit.” Matt sighed. He really didn’t want to sleep in Patrick’s room. He was an awesome guy but some of his jokes were getting a bit weird for his taste. “Couch in the lobby it is then.” 

“That’s against the rules fuckwit!” MonoJoe’s voice rang out from the speakers.

“How the hell could you even hear me?” Matt asked.

“I see and hear all!” MonoJoe replied.

Matt paused for a minute. “You know, if you let me sleep on the couch? I’ll be more vulnerable and it would be easier for someone to kill me in my sleep,” Matt stated.

“I appreciate your logic. You can do it this once. But next time, I’ll kill you!”

“I’m counting on it,” Matt said and the speaker turned off. He made his way to the lobby of the hotel and laid down on one of the couch. He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take him.

The next morning, Matt was slapped awake. [“Wake up, fuckhead,”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fxT8Ev1AvU) a voice said harshly. Matt opened his eye to see Gray standing over him.

“What?” Matt said groggily.

“I thought sleeping outside of rooms was against the rules?”

“I reasoned with MonoJoe to allow it this once.”

“Good for you for not being dead, then.” Gray paused, then handed Matt a cup. “I made coffee,” he offered.

“So you saw me sleeping on the couch, made me coffee, then slapped me awake so I could drink the coffee you made for me?”

“Yes… I did do all of those things,” Gray replied.

Matt sighed and sat up. ”Thanks,” he said as he took the coffee and took a sip. “What time is it anyway?” Matt asked.

“A little after seven A.M. Why?”

“Why the hell are you up this early?”

“Early to bed and early to wake makes a girl smart, pretty, and great,” Gray deadpanned.

“No, seriously.”

Gray sighed and sat down next to Matt. “On RWBY team, you’re taught to maximize all of your time.” 

“I guess that makes sense,” Matt said as he took another sip of coffee. “You were kind of an asshole yesterday.”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Why does it matter? We’re all assholes anyway?”

“I don’t know, you just seemed a little, more so than usual I guess,” Matt said.

“You pay more attention than you let on, kid.”

“I’m twenty five.”

“All the same to me.” Gray paused. “I guess… I thought being an asshole to people would make things easier in case… you know… shit hits the fan,” he said as he took a sip of own coffee.

“Shit’s already hit the fan.”

“I know. I know. But, I mean, if I sever ties now, maybe it will hurt less for the rest of you if something happens to me.”

“Seriously? That’s a terrible way to look at it!” Matt exclaimed.

“I know, but I’d rather ease the pain. Because the can of worms is open now. Who knows what’s going to happen next.”

“I’ll tell you what will happen. You’ll feel loss, betrayal, sadness, and anger. Which are all reasonable emotions to feel by the way. But then you move on. Because that all you can do and it’s what you need to do if you want to stay sane.”

“That is a much better way of looking at things.” Gray smiled. “Now, I wonder why I’ve never had a real conversation with you before.”

“Because I’m greasy and look like a hobo?” Matt asked.

“Yeah that sounds about right,” Gray nodded in agreement.

[Suddenly, Arryn burst through the front door of the lobby, with puffy eyes and tears streaming down her cheeks. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC2oSp7pIRU)

“Gray! Matt! Pool! Text!” she sobbed.

“Arryn?! What happened?” Matt asked.

“I just… he forgot his phone and… COME ON!” she cried as she grabbed Matt and Gray by the arms and dragged them out the door.

“Where are you taking us? What happened?” Matt asked. 

“Well, she said ‘pool’ and by the tears I can only assume the worst,” Gray replied.

“I hope you’re wrong.”

“Me too.”

“Shut UP!” Arryn sobbed as she continued to drag Matt and Gray to the pool.

Once they got to the pool, they finally saw the cause of Arryn’s tears.[Lying halfway in the pool with his head underwater was the corpse of Kyle Taylor](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hn3gBV-nYc) . His body was covered in spots and bumps. There were claw marks all over his arms and legs. His blood was spread throughout the pool. And most noticeably of all, there was a pool cleaning net sticking right through him.

Arryn collapsed to the ground at the sight of her dead friend. “I’m sorry, it’s just… oh god it’s even worse the second time,” she choked out. 

“Why did you just get us? Why didn’t you wake up every one?” Gray asked.

As if on queue, a bell rang throughout the complex *ding dong, ding dong* “Eh hem! A glorious second body has been discovered. Wake the fuck up because after an amount of time a trial will be held to determine who the team killing fuck is, you hungover drunkards,” MonoJoe’s voice rang out from the speaker.

“MonoWatson told me that apparently you need three people to ‘discover’ a body. You guys just got lucky and there happened to be three people in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Arryn said sadly.

“Still wish I was wrong,” Gray said sadly.

“Me too,” Matt said

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_I mean. Well. Shit. Yeah. It was gross. And sad. And awful. And the worst part was. Someone killed him. And now we had to deal with the betrayal part. And even that was complicated as fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MonoJoe is a salty asshole and the salt came through in the puppet show (That Cicco wrote btw)


	11. Chapter 2: Intermission-The Ronpa Teeth Podcast

Byakuya: Hey everyone, welcome to the Ronpa Teeth podcast. Today on the show we have Byakuya.

Naegi: Naegi.

Junko: Junko.

Yasuhiro: Hiro.

Byakuya: And Byakuya.

Naegi: Why does your name always get to be said twice?

Byakuya: Because I’m more important than the rest of you.

Yasuhiro: Speaking of that, can I borrow some money from you Byakuya?

Byakuya: No.

Yasuhiro: Come on, I didn’t even say how much I needed.

Byakuya: Yes, but with you, borrow means give, and I’m not charitable.

Naegi: But what is charitable is our 24 hour livestream for Kids at Hope next month.

Junko: I wanted to do Kids at Despair, but they shot that idea down.

Naegi: Junko, that’s a group that literally takes candy from babies.

Junko: I know, it’s awesome.

Yasuhiro: Hey look Monokuma wandered on set.

Byakuya: I thought I said he wasn’t allowed back on the podcast.

Junko: Oh come on, he’s harmless.

>Naegi picks up Monokuma but Monokuma scratches him.

Naegi: Ow, he’s so unrelaxed.

Junko: I know. I never picked him up as a cub so now he hates being touched. You can’t do anything with him. He gets pissed off with anything.

>Junko then picks up Monokuma and quickly throws him at Yasuhiro. Monokuma starts scratching his face while Yasuhiro screams.

Junko: See?

>Yasuhiro throws Monokuma off of him.

Yasuhiro: Please don’t do that again. I don’t think I could take it.

Byakuya: Shoo, go barf somewhere else.

>Monokuma runs away.

Naegi: Well guys it’s been a while since Hiro’s been on the podcast so I think it’s time we play a certain game.

Byakuya: it has been a while, this should be fun.

Naegi: Yasuhiro or Yahoo, Yahoo or Yasuhiro, which one said it, let’s find out.

Yasuhiro: Can I have 4 million dollars?

Naegi: That’s not the line.

Yasuhiro: Well it’s the truth.

Byakuya: As a disclaimer, Neagi uses Google because yahoo is a far inferior search engine, but for the sake of sounding cool we say yahoo. 

Naegi: And for those of you who don’t know how we play I type in a short little phrase and have both the search engine and Yasuhiro fill it in.

Junko: And we have to guess who said which.

Naegi: Alright, our first one is “Help me I am”. Who said “Help me I am in hell” and who said “Help me I am locked inside a locker”?

Byakuya: Oh Yasuhiro is definitely the hell one. There’s no way he could be in a locker. Look at his hair, it wouldn’t fit.

Junko: Naw, I’m gunna go with Yasuhiro being the locker one. I don’t think he even knows what hell is.

Naegi: Well Junko is right.

Byakuya: I’m cutting your pay for that Naegi.

Naegi: It’s not my fault you were wrong.

Byakuya: You’re right. I’m cutting your pay Yasuhiro.

Yasuhiro: What? Come on. It’s bad enough that Junko shoved me in a locker.

Byakuya: So that’s how she knew.

Junko: It was funny.

Naegi: Alright, onto the next one. “What if”.

Junko: Your legs didn’t know they were legs?

Byakuya: Shut up.

Naegi: Who said “What if dinosaurs were still alive today” and who said “what if god was one of us”?

Junko: Yasuhiro said the dinosaur one.

Byakuya: Yeah, I’m with Junko on this one.

Yasuhiro: How’d you guys know?

Byakuya: The internet is stupid, but you’re stupider.

Junko: Plus the other one is a song.

Naegi: Okay, then our last one is “How much”.

Byakuya: However much it is I can afford it.

Naegi: Thank you for that commentary. Now which one said “How much does a cloud weigh” and which one said “How much does lava weigh”?

Byakuya: I think Yasuhiro was the lava one.

Junko: I’m gunna go with the cloud.

Naegi: Byakuya was right.

Byakuya: Of course. I’m always right.

Junko: Except on the first one.

Byakuya: Shut up.

Junko: I will for $20,000.

Byakuya: Deal.

Naegi: Well it ended in a tie so nobody wins.

Byakuya: Well after that pointless game how about a word from our sponsors. This episode of the podcast was brought to you by Archive of Our Own. Do you like reading fan fiction? Of course you do. Join archive today and check out tons of different fan fiction. There are all sorts of authors like rejectedusername, Ciccoslovakia, and many more. Why not try reading a fic like Dangan Roosters: Right Trigger Happy Havoc? Join today with the code RT and receive the ability to write all the fics you want.

Yasuhiro: Don’t you already get that from joining anyway?

Byakuya: …Shut up.

Naegi: So I heard on the news about this new disease…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if the cast of Dangan Ronpa ran a company like Roosterteeth? I imagine there podcasts would go something like this...


	12. Sorry for everyone

So this story is unfortunately not going to be finished. This was an AU the real rejectedusername and I came up with on a nice afternoon and decided to pursue for fun on an October afternoon in 2014. It was a fun AU that the real Reject and I worked on for fun and had an ending planned out. She's gone now, and I miss the real Reject every day. I may come back and rewrite this in honor of the memory of Reject one day so I won't spoil the ending. Just remember to always cherish your friends because you never know what's going to happen to them, and one day they might be gone forever. And no matter how much you cared for someone, and did everything you could to help them, sometimes they're already gone. Anyway to anyone who enjoyed this story, I hope you have a wonderful life. Never forget to let your friends know how much you love them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, welcome back the Dangan Rooster ‘verse. If you’re here and you have no idea what the fuck is going on, I recommend going back and reading the first fic. If you are all caught up, then good for you. As you can see, we absolutely found more people we could kill. Yay? Anyway, in DR2 we are going to be experimenting with new features. Mainly two things. Number 1: intermissions. In the middle of each chapter there will be a short break to break up some of the action. These intermissions will feature characters from the Dangan Ronpa series, so if you do not know anything about Dangan Ronpa, you can skip these since they do not add to the overall plot of the story, we just wanted to write them because We thought I would be funny, If you’re not going to laugh at them at least we will. There will also be intermissions in the trials. Those will feature MonoJoe. And Number 2: Music. Cicco and I love the soundtrack for Dangan Ronpa, so we decided it would be a cool idea to embed some of that music into the fic (open it up in another tab). That is also optional, but we thought it would be cool. So that’s what’s going on with this. Enjoy.
> 
> -Reject


End file.
